The Ward(s)

Finally!

2011-07-31T17:19:00.003-07:00

Just 10 short days after Gabriella entered this world and became part of our family we were able to finalize our adoption. A lot of people couldn't believe that we were able to finalize that quickly and the only thing I could tell them was that the Lord truly was in control of everything.

When we met with our Birth Mom and the attorney to go over initial paper work, our Birth Mom expressed her desire for us to finalize the adoption as soon as possible. The attorney told her that we probably wouldn't be able to get in and finalize for at least a month or after Gabriella was born, but we decided to call down to the court house to see what could be done. The attorney called down to the court house and the clerk confirmed that we indeed would not be able to finalize our adoption until approximately a month after Gabby's birth. When we heard this, I could see the color leave our Birth Mom's face. But then the clerk went on to explain that since we would be represented by an attorney that we could petition the court early to get a date scheduled before Gabby was even born. This was music to our ears! So we all decided that Nic and I (and our attorney, Nic's dad) would petition the court the first part of June.

As June approached Nic's dad told me that I may have put all my eggs in the basket by telling my family (and friends) when we were going to be having the blessing and sealing since so many things can go wrong in family court. The fact that he was doubtful made me nervous. So, we spoke with our Bishop (who is also an attorney) and put me in touch with his paralegal that handles family law. I told her that we were getting ready to petition the court to get a date to finalize our adoption. She asked how old the baby was and I told her that she hadn't been born yet.

"Well, you can't do that."

"What do you mean we can't do that?"

"You can't even schedule a hearing until the baby is born."

"Well, a couple of months ago we called down to the court and the clerk said that we could petition the court early for a date. Our Birth Mom wants us to finalize the adoption as soon as we can, so that's why we're trying to schedule a court date now"

(very rudely-she was actually rude during the whole conversation) "Well, I don't know who you spoke to, but they are wrong. I have never seen a case where you could schedule a court date before the baby is even born. And it's not up to your Birth Mom to decide when you should finalize. Once there is court termination of her rights, she has no say as to what you decide to do."

I told her thank you and promptly hung up. I was near tears because she was so rude and because maybe Nic's dad was right: I had put all my eggs in one basket. I called Nic (in tears) and he told me the one lesson that i have learned over and over: "We just need to trust the Lord."

We made the decision to continue forward in our attempts to schedule a hearing date BEFORE Gabriella was born. I met Nic's dad and we went to the court house and submitted our papers. I was holding my breath for the clerk to say something about Gabby's DOB (that it hadn't even happened yet), but nothing. Nic's dad asked if we could schedule it now and the clerk said "What day would you like?" What?! Was this really happening? "Um, July 21st." "Okay."

Wow! I couldn't believe it. Well, I could because I knew the Lord was in control. But for a second, I did doubt.

The only one hang up was an additional home study that the court wanted-at the end of August :/. I started to get nervous again, but with the combination of our attorney and our Birth Mom's attorney we were able to get the additional home study waived. Everything was a go.

When we showed up for court I was a nervous wreck. I just kept thinking that the judge could change his mind for any reason at any time. The judge came into the court room and began. He said that he had reviewed our paperwork and found us suitable to become Gabriella's legal guardians. I began to cry. Who knew court proceedings could be so emotional.

After all the legal stuff was done, we were able to take some pictures and enjoy our time as a family before my parents arrived to meet their beautiful new grand-daughter.

The Greatest Gift

2011-07-31T17:19:00.002-07:00

This is a picture of Gabriella and her birth mom.

On Wednesday, July 13th we said good-bye to our birth mom. It was an extremely hard thing to do.

That morning as we drove to the hospital, I felt that we would be saying good-bye to her, so in the car we were sure to say a prayer for her. We prayed that she would not only feel the love we have for her, but also feel the love that our Heavenly Father has for her as well. We prayed that she would be strengthened by that love. And most importantly we prayed that she would know that Gabriella will also know who she is and that we all will always be eternally grateful to her.

Our birth mom came to the NICU and we gave her a few things. First, I told our sweet birth mom that Nic and I will never begin to understand everything she is feeling right now, or how she will feel in the future, but I let her know that we love her. That we sincerely love her and

that Gabriella is just not our daughter, but she is ours. That she belongs to all three of us. I told her that we were truly grateful for her allowing us to start this next chapter in our lives and that she will always be our angel.

Birth mom told us having an adoption plan for Gabriella was what was for the best. To me, that truly showed how much love she had for Gabriella. Adoption truly is about love.

Next, Nic and I presented her with some special items that we had for her. The first one is a bracelet. Gabriella has the same one and she wore it during her newborn photo-shoot.

The next item was a Willow Tree Figurine, it's called Keepsake: Kept forever in the heart. I first came across this figurine when I learned we were first matched. A friend had suggested looking at Willow Tree Figurines to give as a gift to our birth mom when we first met her. I couldn't find anything, but when I saw "Keepsake" I began to cry and I knew that his is something I would want to give her when it came time for placement.

Both my eyes and the eyes of our birth mom were filled with tears (I asked Nic if he cried at all and he said no-typical guy. haha).

I told our birth mom that no matter where we are in our lives and no matter where Gabriella is, and no matter where she is that we have a piece of each other with us.

After a few more tears we got up to really say good-bye. Hugs were given and more tears were shed. Nic said good-bye to our birth mom first and then it was my turn. I tried not to cry, but I just couldn't help it. Neither of us could. I just kept telling her thank you and how much we loved her. She said she loves us too. Which, was so wonderful to hear her say.

Her final words to me: "It's going to be amazing!"

7.11.11

2011-07-31T17:19:00.001-07:00

Today at approximately 1:16 pm our sweet baby girl, Gabriella Neveyah, joined the world. It was such an amazing experience.

The morning was off to a slow start. The C-Section was was supposed to be at 10 am, but it was pushed back until 12 pm. Our poor birth mom was uncomfortable and ready for the baby to be out. It was nice however to spend that extra time waiting with her.

Once our birth mom got called back, we got to sit in the pre-op room with her. We got to listen to Gabriella's heart beat one more time before she joined the world. It was exciting to hear her heart just pumping away. I think she knew that she was getting ready to make her grand entrance :). Sitting there with our birth mom, I was filled with an even greater sense of love for her. Getting changed into the scrubs made my heart race. Was this really getting ready to

happen? I couldn't believe that in just a few minutes our lives would be changed FOREVER! I took Nic's camera into the OR, but I really didn't take a whole lot of pictures. I didn't want to cause a stir of any kind. I just really wanted it to be about our birth mom. The anesthesiologist encouraged me to take pictures and to take a peek over the curtain if I wanted. I did and then I decided that I do not want to ever have a c-section. Oh my goodness. I'm so grateful for our

birth mom enduring that procedure. Seeing them pull Gabriella out was incredible. This sweet

baby girl that we had waited for was finally here. Right after they pulled her out, I was whisked away to the nursery to be with her. Nic was already in there. As I was getting cleaned up, the tears started to come. I tried holding them back, but two of the nurses told me: "it's okay to cry. And you know what? We'll cry with you." I tried to breath my way through it, but as soon as I

rounded the corner and saw them cleaning her up, the tears just came. Like, big bawling,

blubbery tears. It was incredible.

I was wanting to hold her when they were done, but they discovered that she had spontaneous pneumathorax and she had to be immediately taken to the NICU. Gabriella was connected to four different monitors: 1) to monitor her heart rate, 2) to monitor her breathing rate, 3) to

monitor her oxygen levels, and 4) to monitor her body temperature. She also had what they called "the box." It was an enclosed helmet that just pumped oxygen into her lungs. The on-call pediatrician told us that the point of "the box" was to help the pneumathorax to heal itself. If it

didn't then they would use a needle to uncollapse the lung. If that didn't work then they would have to do a tubal. Obviously, Nic and I were hoping for the box to work. Gabriella also had to have multiple x-rays done to make sure the pneumathorax was healing. She did not like that. Especially because they had to stretch her our to get them. Since the womb she has always let you know what she didn't like and she definitely let the nursing staff know that she did NOT like that. . .haha.

The hardest part with her being in the box was that we couldn't hold her. It was killing us! We could just give her foot or hand a little squeeze. And poor baby girl couldn't eat anything either. She was stuck with an IV and sugar water to help her keep the pacifier in her mouth. That first night we decided to stay in the hospital. Even though our friend that we were staying with lived 2 mins away from the hospital, we thought it best to stay right there just in case something happened. That night, we also had our cousin and her fiance come up from Rexburg to help Nic

give Gabriella a blessing of health. Though I could barely hear what he was saying (due to the beeping of monitors), you could definitely feel the presence of the Lord. It's true what they say

about the NICU-there are definitely angels there. Not only was our new little family and our birth mom strengthened by the prayers of our friends, I truly felt the presence of my grand-parents, Nic's grandparents and our birth mom's father. They were all there to make sure this sweet baby girl pulled through.

After 26 grueling hours and one final x-ray (I think she may have had a total of 10-5 times with

2 views) she was given the clear-YAY!! Though the pneumathorax had healed she still had to be monitored to make sure she was getting the right level of oxygen and her breathing rate was able to keep stabilized on it's own. Every time her monitor would go off because her levels had dropped, I would quickly go and grab her hand and tell her: "It's okay baby girl. You can do it. Mommy knows that you can be strong. It's okay. You can do it."

After removing "the box" we were able to feed her and baby girl was STARVING! She downed two ounces like it was nobody's business. After eating she was given a bath. She hated it. Though, she really did enjoy her hair being washed (who doesn't like a scalp massage???). After she was all clean and fresh we were able to hold her, and love on her and give her way too many kisses :)

We were hoping to get discharged that night, but the doctor wanted to keep her at least another day because her white blood cell count was low and the antibiotics were fighting the infection that she had. So, another night it was. And more prayers were given.

Wednesday morning we awoke bright and early so we could head to the hospital to feed her and to see what the good doctor was going to tell us. I also felt, as we were driving to the hospital, that this would be the day that we would be saying good-bye (though not forever) to our birth mom. On the way there, we were sure to say a prayer her and for us and for the good-bye that was getting ready to happen.

A few hours after saying good-bye to our birth mom, we were told to bring in the car seat so we could load Gabriella in it and do a stress test. Our nurses were very excited for us to bring in the car seat, because they knew what that meant-that we could go home! Gabriella was strapped in and she passed-YAY!!! When we were talking to the good ol' doc about discharge he said he wanted to send us home, but he would feel better if were to stay here (Idaho Falls) until Friday. He said with the altitude changes, it could possibly trigger something with Gabriella's pneumathorax (even though she was healed). We said we would. And we received the seal of approval to be discharged.

We took her home to our friends house and it was amazing to be a family. Our friend and her family were out of town, so it was just us. It was so nice. That night I stayed up with Gabriella. She just wanted to be held for almost two hours. When we woke up the next day, I told Nic that it just felt right being up with her. Like she had been ours forever. :)

Thursday morning we drove home. Yes we told the doctor we would stay, but who wouldn't tell them what they wanted to hear so we could get out?! Nic and I figured this: she had recovered 100% and we had faith in the Lord that he would give her the continued strength to stay strong (or at least to make it home if something were to happen). And He did. We made it back home safe and sound to begin our new life as a family.

The Night Before

2011-07-10T22:39:00.000-07:00

Well, the time has finally arrived. Tomorrow is the BIG day. I can hardly believe it.

All day people have been asking me if I'm excited, but honestly I'm not quite sure how I feel. Initially when we were matched I was excited. Getting everything ready made me excited, but in the final home stretch I've begun to feel. . . I don't know. I think I really am feeling so many different things I'm just not quite sure how to feel, or how I should feel. I have been thinking a lot about our birth mom and trying to grasp what she could possibly be feeling, but I know that there is no way I could possibly understand or know exactly how she is feeling. I'll NEVER understand, but I do know one thing. I know that she is our angel. I know that she has answered many prayers offered by my husband and I.

I have always believed that we as beings on this earth are here to help each other through life and to answer prayers offered by our brothers and sisters. We are here on this earth to help each other become something greater. Our birth mom has done this for us. She has given/is giving Nic and I so much. I can only hope that we have given her something in return.

I still can't believe that in 12 hours Nic and I will be parents. When we leave Eastern Idaho there will be a real-life baby in our back seat. We will be leaving with our daughter. Our daughter. Our sweet baby girl. Our pride and joy. This sweet baby who already has her daddy wrapped around her little finger :) Tomorrow, we will be a family.

"How did you guys even end up together?!"

2011-07-07T10:41:00.000-07:00

When we met with our Birth Mom in June, this is something she asked. She posed this question after Nic had done something that was "typical Nic." I didn't take offense by it, in fact it made me laugh. Mostly because Nic and I are so completely different, and while I'm sure a lot of people do wonder how we ended up together no one has ever asked. So now, I will tell both you and our birth mom how we ended up together.

I moved to Boise in May of 2002. Shortly after I moved here I met Nic. I came home with his roommate (whom I liked) and was NOT impressed with Nic the first time I met him. I remember telling his roommate "He must be the jerk of the house, right?" A few days later I crossed Nic's path at a BBQ of a mutual friend. I was there with a girl friend and since we were still pretty new and didn't know anyone. I saw Nic and told her while I had met this guy a couple of days ago he was a jerk but at least we know someone. We made our way towards him and hung out with him for most of the night. At the end of the BBQ a group of us decided to head to a midnight movie (so the thing to do in our single days). At the movie Nic and I sat by each other and I had the very distinct feeling of wanting to be close to him.

About a week later, Nic asked me out on a date but before we could go out I was asked out by another guy and when I told him I couldn't because I already had plans, his friend informed me that I should be careful because Nic was a "player" and proceeded to tell me all the moves that Nic would try. Being one full of attitude at the ripe age of 21, I decided I would have vindication for all the girl that Nic had played. I decided to keep my date with Nic and go along with all the sweet moves that he had and play right back. . .haha.

Shortly after we began dating I remember telling my friend I just can't do it anymore. Nic was nothing like that other guy had told me and I had begun to really like him. After two months of dating I had felt that Nic and I could get married-that was something that I had not planned for. It totally caught me by surprise. Of course, I didn't share these feelings with him. Because nothing scares guys like commitment, right? Haha.

Nic and I continued dating and we drove down to California and he met my family. Everything was going great but then, it was decided we needed a break (a la Ross and Rachel on Friends). We took a lot of "breaks" during our courtship. We dated on and off so frequently that even my best friends didn't know if Nic and I were together. He was always around. Even when we weren't together, he was still my best friend. I talked to him about everything. But then finally in May of 2004, I had reached my breaking point. I was no longer wanting to play these games with Nic.

It was a Sunday and I had made the decision that I was over and done with Nic. Little did I know that same day, he had made the decision that he loved me and couldn't live without me. Talking about bad timing, right? I met a guy that same day and we instantly hit it off. He was totally not like the other guys I had previously dated (he was more of the 'bad boy' type). While he and I were dating, Nic did everything in his power to try to win my affection back. I remember telling Nic "I'm sorry that this isn't working out for you, but you need to respect the fact that I'm dating someone else." Nic backed off in his pursuit, but he told me and everyone else that would listen "I'm going to be there for Elaine when this guy breaks her heart. It's going to happen." He must have been psychic or something because it did happen.

Three weeks later, Nic and I were engaged. Little did I know that Nic had already purchased the ring before we even were officially back together. Boy did he know what he wanted, huh?!

We dated on and off for two years and we are complete opposites. While it wouldn't work for most people, it works for us. Nic is truly my best friend. I think having had that established friendship that we did made it easier for us to endure the hardships that we would have during marriage (the biggest one beint the strugle to start our family). I have always told him everything and it always felt so natural, while with other guys it just always felt so forced. Nic does everything he possibly can to let me know he loves me and cares about me. He does that small things and the big things. I have never questioned his love for me. He opens my doors and gives me simple, sweet kisses on my forehead (he even did this while we were dating). I found a journal that I had when I was 17 years old and in it I had written what I wanted in a husband and Nic has all these qualities (I didn't read this journal again until last year). He's like my dad in some ways. I didn't realize it though until AFTER we were married. I guess it's true what they say about daughters marrying someone like their fathers. And if our daughter marries someone like Nic, she'll be just fine :)

He may not like sports and he may not like chillin' around the house sometimes but to me he is perfectly perfect!

"Hi. My name's Elaine and I Blog Stalk"

2011-07-07T10:10:00.000-07:00

One of my friends is encouraging the epidemic known as "Blog Stalking." I have been guilty of this quiet obsession for some time now. I have learned imperative skills to insure I never get caught, but no more. I openly admit that I suffer from the disease known as blog stalking (because admitting it is the first step, right?). I no longer wish to be in hiding.

In my friends valiant effort to promote blog stalking, I am introducing myself to the world wide web. So, here it goes, 30 Things about me:

1. My husband and I will be adding to our family on July 11th, via adoption (we are beyond excited!)
2. I am a naturally shy person.
3. In high school, I was told I wasn't Mexican enough.
4. I hate going places alone-especially when I don't know anyone else.
5. I've always wanted quintuplets.
6. I LOVE reading!
7. I do not like s'mores.
8. I've always wanted a '69 Mustang.
9. Ever since I broke my nose in 5th grade, I have wanted a nose job.
10. I hate it when people touch my nose.
11. I miss California.
12. I LOVE going to plays.
13. I will forever be an Nsync fan.
14. I can recognize a person just by the sound of their voice.
15. I want to have a child with green eyes.
16. I'm constantly changing my hair (be it color or cut).
17. I've never had braces, but I want them.
18. I have a weakness for shoes.
19. I never wore heels until AFTER I got married.
20. I love reality tv-Nic hates it.
21. I didn't get my license until I was 21.
22. Though I plan some things FAR in advance, I procrastinate as much as I can.
23. I order supreme pizza, but I'll pick things off.
24. I am a Mormon and very proud to be one!
25. My favorite color used to be teal.
26. I am a massage therapist.
27. I can spend hours on the coast just sitting on the beach listening to the waves.
28. I have PCOS and my hubby is sterile. This makes for a bad combination when wanting to have children.
29. If I see a stray dog or cat, I instantly want to take them in and care for them.
30. I am a blog stalker :)

There you go. And just for you stopping by, I'm linking you to this sweet little gem :)

10 Days

2011-07-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

In 10 days the lives of me and my husband are going to be changed. Forever. In 10 days the thing I wanted most for the last five and a half years will finally come to be. In 10 days I will be a mom.

February seems like it was just yesterday. The day we received the call that we had been matched seems like a blur. I remember hanging up to call Nic and telling him: "Um, I think we were chosen to adopt a baby and become parents." The day we met our birth mom was filled with nervous energy. Will she like us? What if she meets us and decides that we aren't what we were on "paper" (Internet)? That day, Nic and I made a life long friend (though, I feel the word 'friend' does not adequately portray how much love, gratitude, and respect we have for our birth mom). Finding out it was a baby girl was magical. I remember when the tech told us it was a Baby Girl I gave Nic's hand a little squeeze and tears filled my eyes. Right then, we fell even more in love with this sweet Baby Girl that was set to join our lives. And now here we are, July 1st with just 10 days left.

I pray in gratitude for the blessing that the Lord is about to bestow upon us. For so long my prayers were filled with tears and pleadings and beggings. Prayers for a miracle to happen. For the pain of my empty arms and heart to be taken away. I prayed for Him to give me what I wanted. I struggled with, not only faith in Him but, faith in His timing. I struggled to know that this trial was really for my growth and good. I struggled to know that he had a plan in place for me and Nic that it was going to greater than we could have ever imagined. It's amazing for me to look back on the last two years of our lives and see how the Lord was working to get things in place. During those hard times, I dragged my feet and questioned everything: Why do I need to quit my job? Why do we have to move? Why is this all happening? Why? Why? Why? But all along he knew what he was doing, it was just me who had doubted his plan.

I feel like I'm in a dream. I keep pinching myself to make sure it's not. I go into Baby Girl's room and take a deep breath: this is where we will change her diapers. This is where I will rock her to sleep. This is where we will watch her sleep. This is where we will make many memories with our daughter. Our daughter. It feels so good to say that.

10 days.

Cliff & Clair Huxtable

2011-06-10T10:50:00.000-07:00

I grew up watching this family. I loved watching The Cosby Show. Recently, I've been watching episodes on Netflix and I love the episodes even more. Especially the love between Cliff & Claire.

Their love reminds me of the love between Nic and me. Well, mostly the love Nic shows me. I know that sounds bad, and don't get me wrong I love my husband dearly but he does a far better job of showing that love. After watching countless episodes of the The Cosby Show, it's encouraging me to be better.

Cliff and Claire are successful people (Cliff being an OB and Claire being an attorney) and yet with their five children (four at home during the early seasons) they still make time for each other. Time for romance. Time for love. What's my excuse for not taking time out for my husband? For both of us really, not making enough time for each other?

I have long believed that love is an ACTION. It's so important to continually love your spouse. Love takes work. It is simply not a feeling that one day disappears. Love is an act that we have not continually demonstrated to our loved one that causes love to disappear. If we are showing love, how can we not feel love? Today I vow to love my husband more. I encourage all of you to take that step as well and love your significant other more today.

Oh, and do yourself a favor if you have never watched any episode of The Cosby Show, go to YouTube and search Cliff and Claire Huxtable. You will laugh and you will be inspired.

6 weeks

2011-06-01T20:59:00.000-07:00

6 weeks until we meet our Baby Girl. I can't believe it. It seems like February 1 was just yesterday. . .not five months ago. Relationship with our birth mom is still great. She sends us little updates and funny little happenings. We're so grateful that she chooses to share those things with us. I bought Baby Girl a journal so that when birth mom sends us little stories I put them in the book.

Writing in the journal has kind of been an emotional experience for me. It makes Baby Girl seem even more real. I talk to her as if she was here. Telling her that I sat in her room for over an hour today or how fun it is to see Daddy get excited about her joining our little family. I told her about my love for the ocean and how I hope she comes to love it as much as I do. And again, I tell her the funny stories that her birth mom shares with us.

So far, while in the womb Baby Girl has kicked birth mom on her bladder she had to excuse herself from a client (Birth Mom is also a massage therapist), punched Birth Mom's stomach so hard that a client on the table felt it (he was kind'a weirded out), and been called feisty by Birth Mom's doctor after she pushed the dr's hand away while he was trying to listen to Baby Girl's heart beat. Baby Girl already knows what she does and does not like. Haha.

I still feel like we have so much to do and projects for the baby to finish. Hopefully the nesting bug kicks in soon.

Let the count down begin!

Those Three Words

2011-05-08T13:42:00.001-07:00

I've said those three little words before, but never really had a second thought about them. People have said them to me in passing but they didn't seem to mean it. Or they felt they had to explain themselves when they told them to me. Those simple words so simple and plain. And on Friday I began to realize their significance.

I came home from work on and there was a package in the mail addressed to me. I figured it was just another gift for our baby girl from a friend, but then I noticed that the return address was a book club in California. "Strange," I thought. I then began to rack my brain, trying to recall when I purchased something on-line. Since I've been ordering things on-line for the last couple of months, I was having a hard time remembering what this could possibly be. Curiosity was beginning to get the best of me, so I opened the package and found a book wrapped in bubble wrap. I began skimming over the package slip, looking for a message of some sort but I couldn't find one. But then it caught my eye. The buyer's name, our birth mom. I suddenly became anxious and couldn't wait to see what it was. I tore into the bubble wrap and saw the book: "Why Every Daughter Needs a Mother: 100 Reasons." Tears began to fill my eyes. I read the book description and I began to cry.

I quickly sent a text to our dear, sweet birth mom thanking her for the thoughtful gift and letting her know that this book would always be treasured in our house. And then she said it. Those three words: "Happy Mother's Day."

Our birth mom saying those words made what's going to be happening in two months even more real. In two short months I will be entrusted with a sweet, beautiful, pure, adorable baby girl. In two more months I will be a mom.

NIAW

2011-05-01T01:18:00.000-07:00

Last week, April 24th-30th, was National Infertility Awareness Week. I meant to post a couple of blogs, but didn't' get around to it. Instead, I find myself sitting my at computer at 2 in the morning after have taken a late afternoon/early evening nap typing the morning away.

Better late than never. So, be sure to read the posts below.

Infertility

2011-05-01T00:16:00.000-07:00

Plain and simple: there are no reasons nor explanations for my (our) infertility.

Nic and I did not choose infertility. Our infertility is not a result of postponing the start of our family "as soon as we're done with school," "once we have a good job," or "once we are out of debt," etc.

Nor are we infertile for poor life-style choices. We are both healthy individuals. And just because you tell me to add certain things to my diet (that I already include anyways) or stop being stressed or exercise more (or not as often) does not mean that I will get pregnant.

Adoption is a not a quick and easy fix to our infertility woes. If anything, the journey to adoption was just as emotional as the roller coaster of infertility. And just because we adopt does not mean we will forget about our infertility. We are however grateful for the Lord's guidance we felt in our decision to adopt.

Infertility is more common then people realize. Statistically it affects 1 in 8 couples. At Nic's place of employment there are eight couples (including ourselves). Two other couples have infertility problems.

Just because we do not have kids (yet) does not mean that we do not want them. Jokingly telling us "Are you sure want kids? You can have mine." Does not make me laugh.

The one thing I am grateful for that infertility has given me is the opportunity to build a stronger relationship with my dear hubby. He is a wonderful, outstanding man. We had a very strong relationship from the beginning, but going through the ups and downs of infertility caused us to rely on each other even more. He was my foundation, light, and hope when I was in my darkest hour.

Infertility will always be a part of me. But I will not let it define me.

How do deal with Infertility: Sound Principles from "The Never Ending Story"

2011-04-30T22:34:00.001-07:00

*This was originally posted 4/26/10 on my other blog*

So, a while ago my husband and I bought the two pack DVD of The Never Ending Story and there are some true life applications there. Here are my observations:

1. If you let the sadness over come you, you will die. I've struggled with being infertile and I've had good days and (really) bad days, but I've come up on top-with occasional trips. But if I choose to wallow in my self-pity I wouldn't be happy. And what kind of life is it if you're not happy?

2. If you doubt your worth, you face ultimate destruction. Never question who you are and what you're purpose is. You are of infinite worth and have a divine purpose on this earth, though you may feel like you're not fulfilling it. Have faith in yourself and everything else will fall into place.

3. We all have a Falcor in our lives: someone who believes in us and stands by our side. Willing to make the adventure with us. My Falcor? The hubby.

4. When you lose your hope and dreams, the nothing will take control. You have to believe in something to be sure you have a purpose in life.

5. There is a power and a being seeking to destroy us. Plain and simple.

6. I will name my son Atreyu-the hubby just doesn't know it yet.

Blessings in Life

2011-04-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

This is a plaque we are going to hang up in baby girl’s room. Some of you may recognize the quote that is on it. It’s from this blog post. It’s a quote by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. When I first heard this quote, I cried. When I first saw this plaque, I cried. When I was telling Nic that I wanted to get it, I cried. When I picked it up at the store and read it again, I cried. This quote by Elder Holland is so powerful and answers every question I have had/felt about motherhood: will the blessing of motherhood come soon in our marriage? Will it come later in life? Will it ever come at all? The question I most frequently asked myself is that later. Will it ever happen? Will I be blessed on this earth as a mother, or will it wait until heaven?

We as women are meant to be mothers. There is something within us. Sherri Dew stated that "motherhood is the essence of who we are as women." To not fulfill my responsibility as a women, I felt loss and incomplete and I felt like a failure. I felt as though something was wrong with me. Not only was my body not "functional" but I was also unable to fulfill one of the most important roles on this earth. I slowly began to accept the fact that just maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother on this earth. It pained me to think that and it caused me to weep when I said it out loud. But I truly felt that there was no other conclusion to draw.

For awhile, yes, I did wallow in my own self pity. It was hard to accept the fact that it was more than likely I would NOT be a mother on this earth. Yes it made me upset. And yes I questioned my role as a woman. But then, through guidance of Sheri Dew's talk: Are We All Not Mothers? This quote really stuck out to me:

"For reasons known to the Lord, some women are required to wait to have children. This delay is not easy for any righteous woman. But the Lord’s timetable for each of us does not negate our nature. Some of us, then, must simply find other ways to mother. And all around us are those who need to be loved and led."

I stood back and took a look at my life. Who was I to mother? Who needed my love? Who needs me to help lead and guide them? Obviously, there were my nieces and nephews. And of course my god-daughters. But who else needed my love? And then I received an answer: I was called to work with the youth in my church. At first, it was the 10 year old boys and girls. Then, I moved up with them when they were 11, getting ready to turn 12 (which I didn't expect at all). And then about half way through the year I was called to work with the girls 12-13 (again, I got to move up with my girls. Yes, they and their parents know I call them "my" girls). I was able to work with these beautiful young women for 2 and a half years. I developed such a love for these girls. When I felt my heart was empty, I just needed to look at these girls and realize the responsibility I had to be an example for them. To be another guiding force in their lives. I'm so grateful for the opportunity I had to help guide them and develop long lasting relationships with them. I recently saw a few of them and it made my heart so happy to see their excitement to see me, even though they are quickly on their way to being taller than me (I used to think I was tall, apparently not). Though, at the time, I was not a mother by the world's standard, I knew within my heart I was indeed a mother.

In a few short months (two and a half) I will becoming a mother-YIKES! Now I am filled with anxieties of "will I be a good mother?" But like Sherri Dew said, mothering is something within us. I may not be a perfect mother but I know that as long as I fill the responsibilities of this divine role on this earth, I'll be okay.

What's in a name?

2011-03-08T07:34:00.000-08:00

Wikipedia defines a name as: "a noun, normally used to distinguish one from another. . .a personal name identifies a specific unique and identifiable person."

I've started making a list of baby names ever since I was in high school. No, I never planned on becoming pregnant in high school, I would just hear names and I would right them down. And soon I just found myself adding to my list when I was bored. And it wasn't just first names. It was first and middle name combos, that had to flow perfectly. Names that had cute nicknames. Names that could be shortened. Names, for boys, that when you just used their initials sounded like good. (think JC or Tj).

When we found out we were chosen to adopt a baby, Nic and I both felt it was a boy. So, I focused all my attention on boy names. So, when we found out Baby Ward is going to be a girl I had no idea what to tell our Birth Mom when she asked us if we had a name picked out. I always knew I wanted to name our first daughter Magdalena Irene, but because I felt the name had come to us in such a special way, Nic and I decided that we will hold onto that name when I give birth to a girl. With that name tossed out the window, we had to go back to the drawing bored. But after countless hours of thinking up combos and making sure they flowed together (Nic had suggested Jasmine Lakeesha???) we have come up with a list of seven names. They are as follows:

1. Gwenevieve Noel
2. Isabella Rosario
3. Annabelle Marie
4. Caitlyn Marie
5. Gabriella Faye
6. Evelyn Giselle
7. Jasmine Lanae

We don't know how we're going to decide, but Nic and I wanted to see what everyone else thought. So, we made a poll on the side bar of our blog. Go ahead and vote. Obviously Nic and I will make the final decision but, again, we just wanted our friends to weigh in. Happy voting! :)

Worth a try

2011-03-05T14:44:00.000-08:00

So, with Baby Ward on the way (we find out on Monday if baby girl or baby boy-so excited!) I figured this would be a pretty good contest to enter.

Hang to Dry is giving away a year FREE of applique T-Shirts. They are ADORABLE!!!!

Cross my fingers and toes (and fingers and toes of Baby Ward) that we win! :)

Thirty, Flirty & Thriving

2011-03-01T07:00:00.000-08:00

13 going 30 is one of my all-time favorite movies. Jennifer Garner is amazing in it. If you've been living under a rock and haven't seen it, here is the (simple) synopsis: a 13 year old girl plays a game on her 13th birthday and wakes up the next day as a 30 year old woman (care of IMDB). Jennifer Garner's character, Jenna Rink, at one point in the movie tells her mom that she wants to be 30 and reads the name of magazine article to her "Thirty, Flirty and Thriving: Why Your 30's Are The Best Years of Your Life."

I'm actually pretty excited about turning 30, but if it were up to my 13 year-old self I would be a married attorney living in a mansion and driving a VW bug with four children (this according to many games of MASH). Never would have my 13 year-old self imagined starting a new career at 29. Neither could my 13 year-old self have imagined having fertility problems. I also think 13 year-old Elaine would be shocked to know that I'm not the proud owner of a VW bug (for reals, I thought they were the coolest car!). But I have learned a few valuable lessons.

Back in November Nic and I went out on a date and I thought I looked pretty HOTT so I took some pics (over 30) of myself when I got home. After these pictures I made this list.

*I can pull off bangs, but the side swept bang is my best friend and I can pretty much rock it!

*I know my “good” side and my “bad” side when taking pictures.

*I may never be deemed a “hipster” by the worlds standards, but I think my style pretty much rocks.

*Though my smile may not be perfect, I love every bit of it. One day I’ll get braces. Or maybe I won’t. We’ll see.

*My nose. It's a love/hate relationship. Ever since I broke it in grade school it's been an issue for me. Overtime I have learned that it suits my face just fine. . .well, most days I feel that way ;)

*“Pretty much rocks (or "pretty much awesome"),” “Dude,” and “for reals” are phrases I use quite often. And you know what? Dude, it pretty much rocks-for reals! I bet you didn’t see that one coming, did ya? ;)

*I’m not dying anytime soon (well, at least not that I’m aware of) and I have a bucket list. I’ve already crossed two things off. Hopefully three more will be coming off this year.

*I have mastered the art of a self-portrait.

*I love the way I look.

*The worry wrinkle between my brows will never go away. Though, I did learn some massage techniques that help it appear smaller. Awesome!

*I love my perfectly imperfect body. I have also learned that I will never be the size 2 I never was.

*I loved my body sophomore year of high school-toned, defined muscles and in awesome shape (Thanks Coach Jill!), and I’m okay if I am never to look like that again. Okay, maybe not completely okay but I really don't have the motivation to work that hard for it.

*Be adventurous when it comes to your hair. It’s only hair. It will grow back. Just make sure you have the right stylist. I have THE BEST hairstylist ever! And it totally makes a difference when one decides to change their look every six months or so.

*What makes a good stylist? Someone who listens to what you want, gives you honest feedback as to what will or will not work with your hair type, explains how cutting it a certain way will make it ‘pop’ more, and when he/she is styling it they explain what they’re doing so you can try to achieve that look at home. A good hairstylist will NEVER lead you astray. My hairstylist pretty much rocks!

*Voluminizing/Body Boosting products are a girls' best friend-forever and always!

*My infertility does not define me. I define me.

*People will love me or hate me. The ones that hate me are totally missing out on having an awesome friend.

*I can not live my life to please people. I must live my life to please myself.

*This video gives the best advice ever:

I would be lying if I said that I woke up everyday feeling darn right sexy because I don't. I catch glimpses in the mirror that make me cringe. Especially when I think I look good in a pair of jeans and realize how wide my seat is when I take them off. But, more often than not I love myself. It's taken a lot of time learning what works best for my body and what color look best on me (I still don't know if I'm a fall/winter/spring/summer color scheme).

This new found sense of self was 20 years in the making (since puberty), but most of this progress of my self worth/value/confidence came within that last year. I think what aided in this was making the decision to quit my job and return to school. Such a huge decision, but doing what I want to be doing just brings out a new sense of pride in one's self. I think with confidence comes a sense of freedom. I feel free from judgement. Though I know it happens it just seems to slide off my back easier.

So here's to the big 3-0. It's going to be awesome!

July

2011-02-22T17:29:00.001-08:00

Lately my mind has been thinking about the month of July.

July has always been a special month for Nic and I. Our first date was July 23, 2002. And we got engaged July 30, 2004. And it seems that no matter where we were in our on-again/off-again relationship, we always managed to get back together in July. It only seems fitting that Baby Ward join our family in July too.

Thank you month of July for holding a special place in our hearts.

In case you missed it

2011-02-22T17:14:00.000-08:00

Here is the video I posted on facebook announcing to our friends that Nic and I are going to be parents. Enjoy!

The Match

2011-02-15T10:22:00.000-08:00

It happened. It finally happened. Nic and I have been chosen to adopt a baby and we are more than excited. The story (sorry, it's a little long):

As you are all aware, we started the adoption process three years ago. As some of you know, I struggled with my faith and being at peace with this trial since 2006. Though, honestly, the last two years have really been the best for me and the last four months of 2010 really pushed me to my limits. . .of faith that is.

I knew I, personally, needed more faith in my life. But it was hard. I felt like I was doing everything right, though in the back of my mind I knew I still wasn't making the ultimate sacrifice: surrendering everything to the Lord. August 2010, I was compelled to be humbled and turn my faith to the Lord. Trusting that He would provide for Nic and I. It was still hard, but I (we) had done everything we could and it just wasn't up to us anymore. Nic an I came to know that in the end everything would work out and this sacrifice would allow us to have our family.

Now fast forward to December 2010. We felt we needed to really do better on our end to make sure our family happened (we were also compelled again by a letter from LDSFS). We took the necessary steps. Some were long and hard (more paperwork-blah!), while others were easy. We were hit with some speed bumps, but we continued on. We did everything in faith. I personally know that I was doing more things on my end to show the Lord I was faithful. It was a rewarding experience.

January 2011, Nic and I decide to come up with a family theme: "Trust God and believe in good things to come." It seemed fitting for the hopes we had for our family with the new year. Thursday, January 27th Nic and I went to the temple. We hadn't been in a while so it felt good to be there. The temple greeter asked us to participate in a sealing session and we were more than happy too. Before we began our session, I wrote down a list of people I felt needed prayers and placed in the prayer box. On that list I wrote "Ward Birth Mom." We hadn't prayed for her in a while, so it felt good writing her "name" down. Sitting in the sealing room, I was filled with peace and hope. The hope of being able to return there with our future children. With the additional paper work, I had dragged my feet a little, but then finally on Saturday, January 29th I bit the bullet and pushed through it. Monday, January 31st I emailed everything to our case worker. Tuesday, February 1st I got a call.

It was a friend from our old ward wondering if Nic and I were still hoping to adopt. I told her we were and she asked if she could share our information with a family friend. Of course I said yes, but honestly I really didn't think anything would come of it. We had two previous situations come up, but nothing came of them. I wasn't putting all of my eggs in this basket. A few hours later my friend called back, stating that the Birth Mother (BM) was wanting to move forward(!) and gave me her attorney's contact information so we could schedule an appointment with him. I was a little in shock and in somewhat disbelief. I couldn't believe it was that "easy." I think mostly in my mind I had made it into this huge spiritual experience (but looking back, it really was), and so the fact that it wasn't was kind'a a downer for me. But I was happy. Just in complete disbelief. I call the attorney and he tells me that his client (BM) wants to meet us. I call our mutual friend and we get it arranged. I begin reaching out to my friends in the adoption community, because, in all honesty I. AM. FREAKING(!). OUT!!!! They all just reminded me to "breathe". Really? Easier said than done people.

We meet at our mutual friends house and while the conversations were a little awkward at the beginning (think first date/blind date), we soon found our common ground: shoes!!! Once we began talking about shoes, it was like we had been friends forever :) At the end of the night, as she was leaving, she told us: "As far as I'm concerned, the baby is already yours." I had to give Nic's had a little squeeze and steady myself from not wanting to jump on her and give her way too many hugs (though, she has been endearing enough to deal with me when I want to give her a hug. she understands I'm a hugger).

Our sweet BM feels like family already. And she will be. She IS family. We have all decided on an open adoption. She said she never wants to step on our toes or interfere with our parenting styles. I told her that I don't ever want her to feel as if we are being "too open" with her. I told her as long as we keep communicating what we are and aren't comfortable with and as long as we are honest with each other, this relationship (like any relationship) will work.

There are some details that still need to be worked out: mostly, deciding on an attorney. Her attorney said all communication (post placement) would have to go through him "because we don't want birth mom knowing where you live." Um, for reals dude? That's old school and considered closed adoption. Not for us.

The count down to July 17th has begun!

P.S. The sex of the baby is unknown but we will find out (2 weeks). AND the baby will be half Mexican/half Caucasian. My friend said that's while she immediately thought of us.

The Ward Family Theme

2011-01-03T20:34:00.000-08:00

My friend Mrs. R has a family theme. Last year it was "Come what may, and love it" and this year is "Hold thy peace." Mrs. R is a truly inspiring women. Following her example, Nic and I have chosen a family theme: "Trust God and believe in good things to come."

The last four months of 2010 were hard ( *insert Michael Scott joke* ). We had to make big changes in our life. Changes Nic accepted more than I did. I'm a stubborn, hard-headed individual. I tend to want things my way. And though my life experiences have taught me that this isn't how it works, I always tend to forget that the Lord is over all. I can't even begin to count how many times I have personally felt the Lords hand in my life, but yet I still struggle to let go and have things not go MY way. One day I'll learn (hopefully!).

With these big changes in our life have come adjustments and more struggles. But through all of it, one thing has remained true: I have felt the Lord guiding us. Because we have humbled ourselves and given Him our trust and faith, He has guided us. He has given us those small reminders of His love. He has answered prayers through friends and inspiration.

When things were hardest for me, I came across a Mormon messages video that featured Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. To this day the video (still) makes me cry. The message at the end is so powerful: "There is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. And some don't come until heaven. . .it will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come."

Nic and I both know, and feel, that 2011 is going to be filled with new and exciting things for us. And we know that as long as we "trust God and believe in good things to come" all will be well.

Here is the video:

I've also decided there are a few things that I would like to work on this year:
1] Obviously trust more in the Lord. This is where I lack. I can trust Him in the small things but when it comes to trusting Him in the BIG things I'm scared. I'm scared about the "what if's." But no more! "Trust God and believe in good things to come." Bring it on 2011!

2] Have dinner at a regularly scheduled time (preferably when the hubby comes home from work). I've been doing good with this. We even got our kitchen table cleaned off so we're sitting at the table and not on the couch with our TV trays. Eating on the couch was something we did fairly often and I hated it! So nice to have the table cleaned off.

3] Set business hours. Being self-employed as a massage therapist and trying to kick-start my business, is very time consuming. I have marketing to do, research, networking, marketing meetings, answering emails, sending emails, more research, writing articles, more marketing. You catch my drift. I'm usually working from when I wake up to right before I go to sleep. Need to set hours so I'm not neglecting my responsibilities at home. Which leads me to number 4. . .

4] Fulfill my household responsibilities. I cook? Yes. I clean? Occasionally. I do laundry? Um, only when I'm in desperate need of things. To sum it up, I pretty much suck at life when it comes to getting these type of things done. 2011 will be anew.

5] (Really) Read my scriptures. This was Inspired by my older brother. He stopped going to church when he was 18. Recently he has started going back to church AND reading the Book of Mormon. Not just 'reading' it but really reading it. Like studying and pondering of every little thing. And if he doesn't understand a chapter he reads it again. He's told me he's spent a couple of days on chapters. Um, so not there with my scripture study habits. I read them and ponder them but I don't study them out like my brother does. So appreciative of his example.

6] Blog more, Facebook less. One of my friends said that she FBed so much that she stopped posting on her blog. And she didn't want that. I read an article that stated FB was the new blog. I don't want that. I can make a book out of my blog, but not my FB posts-even if they are pretty witty.

7] Get out more. When I was full-time and it came time for the weekend, I just wanted to stay home. But now I want to get out and LIVE! We have a book that's "everything Idaho" it tells you about different towns in Idaho and what they have to offer. I want to live this book.

8] Date my husband more. Even if it's just us hanging out and rocking out to Rock Band.

9] Take more pictures. I have a good camera. But I rarely take it out to just taken random pictures of us. Then I feel as if we have nothing to show the past year.

Bring it on 2011. It's going to be an amazing year!

*it should be noted for some reason I am having a very hard time typing "2011." For some reason, I want to type "2001." Weird. And yes, every time I typed "2011" in this blog it was first typed "2001."

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T17:11:00.000-08:00

Viva La Mexico!

2010-12-07T09:31:00.000-08:00

A week and a half after graduation Nic and I had the opportunity to go to Cancun for a WONDERFUL much needed vacation. People thought we were crazy because we had just moved three days prior to leaving, but it's something we needed. I had been very stressed with the move and things that were happening (or not happening??) in our life.

Nic is blessed with a wonderful boss. The trip to Cancun was made possible by him (in 2007 he took us on a Caribbean cruise-so much fun!). Here's a break down of our week:

Tues, 10/19: arrive in Mexico. Enjoy a buffet dinner and Michael Jackson show. I was a little disappointed in the show. It had potential to be AWESOME but it was lacking. All is well.

Weds, 10/20: Hang out at the resort and get acquainted to our surroundings. The water was BEAUTIFUL!!! So blue. So calm. So peaceful.

Thurs, 10/21: Visit Tulum. Visiting the ruins has always been something I wanted to do. Having the opportunity while in Mexico was amazing. I think I need to plan another vacation simply to visit more ruins.

Fri, 10/22: Snorkeling at YaKul. I have never snorkeled before and I LOVED it. I snorkeled a couple of times at the resort and Nic heard this bay was a good spot. It was amazing. We saw some beautiful fish. The only scary part was when we went snorkeling from the bay out into the ocean. The water was choppy and I had no life jacket. Water kept getting in my snorkel and one time when I came up to clear it out I had to put hurry and put it back on because a huge wave was coming. After that I was totally done. I turned around and Nic came swimming after me. I told him I was done and was turning back. Nic had to get the other girl that was with us. The whole time I was swimming back I was trying hard not to freak out and stay calm. I managed to make it back to shore, but that night as I was going to sleep I just kept seeing ocean waves come over me. I told Nic "I don't think I let my body react properly to what happened this afternoon." I did some relaxing breathing, cried, and then I was able to go to sleep. My mom says it's a good thing I didn't break down while I was out there because that could have been really bad.

Sat, 10/23: Xplor-this place was so cool! We got there at 9am and didn't leave until 5pm! We did two zip line courses, an amphibian ride (kind'a like a four wheeler), swimming in caverns and canoeing through caverns. I decided two things while we were there: 1) though I enjoy the water I am prone to freak outs in the water if I can not touch bottom and 2) canoeing is NOT my cup of tea.

Sun, 10/24: Shopping! It got a lot of Christmas gifts down there and I got a way cute purse. I let Nic do all of the negotiating for things and he did pretty well. Though he did make one shop owner mad. The guy was wanting $30 for two purses. Nic got him down to $25. Then he gave the guy $30 and asked for change. It was kind'a funny. But the guys was way upset.

Mon, 10/25: Enjoying our last day in paradise. The water was choppy and there was a warning flag posted to keep people out of the water, but it really wasn't too terrible so we ventured out into it. The cool thing was that we were able to see some sea turtles.

Tues, 10/26: said goodbye. We sported our Bronco gear on the plane ride home and actually got to enjoy some of the game on the plane. I don't think some of the other passengers appreciated us shouting (quietly) and waking them up from their slumber.

Mexico was wonderful and the food was great. Nic and I think that we like being at a resort better than being on a cruise. Though a cruise is nice and you get to go to different locations you feel rushed when you're in port. The resort was nice because we could do everything at our own pace. . . BUT having food available 24hrs is really a great thing. When I got the munchies late at night at the resort I couldn't get any food in my tummy. All is well. Can't wait to see what Dr. Spencer has in store for his staff next trip! Thank you Dr. Spencer.

Graduation

2010-12-07T08:02:00.000-08:00

On October 8, 2010 I graduated from Milan with a certificate in Massage Therapy. I LOVED school and the friends I made. The original plan was for me to get my certificate in massage (because it's something I wanted to do since 2002) and then return to BSU to finish my degree in social work. Well, now that's changed. Now I want to return to school and study kinesiology! So, we will see what the next few months and year may bring.

Here are some pictures from the graduation ceremony:

before the ceremony

getting my diploma

"It is what it is." My instructor would say this all the time so a classmate found this shirt for him.

Me & Tammi. We caused trouble in the corner :)

Charma-our clinic director. She is amazing!

Now that I'm done with school I'm running my own business and looking for a Chiropractic or Physical Therapists office to work at. Wish me luck!

We're alive!

2010-09-29T12:48:00.001-07:00

We're here and we're still alive. We are in the middle of working, finishing clinic, graduating, packing and moving. I'll probably be offline for a while (again-sorry) but next time we'll have pictures of our new home up.

Trust God and believe in good things to come

2010-09-29T08:03:00.000-07:00

After much searching and prayer Nic and I have found a place to live. We are moving to Nampa. Gasp! I know. The one place I did NOT want to move to turns out to be the one place where the Lord needs us.

As soon as we gave notice to our lender of our move out date Nic and I were constantly on craigslist looking for rentals. Driving around the areas we wanted to be, looking for places to rent and there was hardly anything. And if we did find something it was snatched in a second. We did finally find a property in our subdivision and checked it out.

It was a completely different style and way smaller, but we liked it. The only bad thing was the pet deposit-it was insane! I know, I know. Some of you are saying "just get rid of your cats" but after having to step away from our house, the last thing I wanted to do was get rid of my cats (only a pet/animal lover could truly understand this pain). We moved on to the next property. Another house in our subdivision. A little out of our price range but I figured we could make it work. We viewed it and fell in love and there was no additional pet deposit. We filled out an application and went on our merry way. I was filled with some anxiety, but I knew it would be okay. We could make it work. I called the owner the next day because we did have some more questions and we never heard back from her. Frustrated, we continued our search.

After the second disappointment and the deadline looming overhead, I really started becoming frustrated and stressed out. One day while I was looking on craigslist, Nampa came to mind and I quickly pushed the thought to the side. I did NOT want to live out there and I KNEW I would not be happy out there. And I KNEW with the additional distance we wouldn't be able to afford the gas. We found a 3rd property to look at. COMPLETE disappointment. Continued our search. The 4th property seemed like it would be a winner. Went to look at it and it was cute. A lot smaller but it would work for us. The owners were friendly, it was in our price range, and there wasn't an insane pet deposit. It would be sufficient. We filled out an application talked some more with the owners and left. But there was something unsettling in me. Though I knew the deadline was close, I felt as if we were rushing into this house. I shared my feelings about the house with Nic to see if he felt the same but he didn't. I then shared with him the thoughts of Nampa. I told him "I don't know if it keeps coming to mind because I know we can have the size of home that we want for cheaper than Boise or if it's where we're supposed to be." He didn't know either but agreed we could rent a bigger house out there for cheap.

I sat on it for a day and figured what the heck, we might as well just look to see what's out there. Mind you, I did this with 100% attitude. I was not happy about even searching for something in Nampa. Nic got an appointment set up on Sunday and we headed out. The whole drive out I was not a happy camper and mumbled under my breath. A lot. I decided I should say a prayer. As I bowed my head, the sticky note I had kept in my car for the last two weeks caught my attention: "Trust God and believe in good things to come." I told Heavenly Father that I wanted to trust Him. That we wanted to be where He needs us to be. I prayed that if this house was to be where we needed to be that He would give us those comforting feelings. We went inside and it was BEAUTIFUL! I could see us living there. We talked with the property manager and filled out an application. No thoughts or worries of "how are we going to make this work?" crept into my mind. I was at peace. Nic and I got in the car to head back home and he asked me how I felt. I told him that it just felt right and I wasn't filled with any anxieties or worries. At that moment, it felt as if someone was reaching out to me and saying "Thank you. Thank you for trusting me."

This whole journey of finding a place to live has truly been a test of faith and trust for me. At one point I prayed saying: "I know I need to go through this to learn more patience and trust but if you can help speed this up, that would be wonderful." I felt the Lord chuckle. So often in our lives it's easier to do things our way. It's the natural man in us. But how often when we do things our way is the journey filled with bumpy roads and more stress and frustration. All we have to do is put our trust in Him. The Lord will guide us. He will not lead us astray. Though the journey may still be bumpy we know that the Lord is watching us over us.

Featured!

2010-04-28T17:53:00.000-07:00

Where? Only the hottest blog on this side of the equator-The R House!

Mrs. R put out a request for guest bloggers. I volunteered and she picked me (and a handful of other wonderful ladies). I truly felt so honored to post on her blog. Here is a link to my guest post.

In the days that followed my post, I got called 'an inspiration', 'amazing' and 'strong'. Words I had honestly never considered myself. I'm so grateful to those ladies, who left those words of encouragement, they had helped me to be stronger.

Thanks for the wonderful opportunity Mrs. R.

Back to school

2010-04-26T21:58:00.000-07:00

On February 18th I became a student again. I finally took a stand in my life and did something that I wanted to be doing. Not what other people expected me to do. After six years of talking about it, I decided to return to school for massage therapy. And I am LOVING it!

I'm attending Milan Institute here in town. At first, I was a little reluctant because I hadn't heard too many good things about the the other programs they offered but I decided to go out on a limb and go for it. The beginning was kind of bumpy (my admin rep wasn't very thorough) but as soon as school started it was smooth sailing.

During orientation they were telling us that we would be getting a lot of books. So, I was expecting at least 15-20 books. I mean, we have a lot of medical terminology to learn. Imagine my surprise when I came to class and saw 9 books total. I had to laugh. Especially when my classmates were all like: "They weren't kidding. We got a lot of books." I sent Nic a text saying that 9 books is nothing (for 8 months). I had 9 books for one semester of school.

My goal is to finish with a 4.0 and so far I'm on track. Who wants a massage?

Come what may. . .and LOVE it

2010-02-27T08:53:00.000-08:00

There is a blog are frequently stalk, er, I mean check. The blog? The r house (if you read our 'Journey' blog, you've seen me mention Mrs. R before AND a link to her blog). Mrs. R is a HUGE adoption advocate. Her blog alone has changed my perception of open adoption. She's has me thinking of ways to find our birth mother instead of waiting for her to find us. In other words, Mrs. R is AMAZING!

The r house is known for giveaways and I never enter or make mention of them until now. The new giveaway is called: "Come what may and love it." Mrs. R has had a rough last year with her contested adoption (something that truly terrifies me) and her family theme was: Come what may. It's taken a while for me to come into this: "Come what may" attitude. Quitting my job. Adjusting to the new life of quitting my job. Trying to navigate through this adoption process. A lot of this has been heavy burden. I've turned to Nic, who can always bring me back to center (I'm sooooooo grateful for that-I'm prone to freak outs). I've tearfully turned to the Lord. I'm waiting for that twist of fate. For things to fall into place.

I know all things are meant to make us stronger and are for our benefit. But sometimes, it's hard. REALLY hard. I'll be honest, I bounce back and forth between "Come what may" and "I'm really hating this right now." Haha. But I know that the Lord is always by my side and that by and through my faith, I will be able to face anything. Come what may.

In Memory of Max

2010-02-20T11:41:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of my younger brother and our boxer Max when we first brought him home. Ricky spent a lot of sleepless nights with Max as he was getting used to his new home. We all loved Max.

Max was a protector. My date for prom snuck into the back yard to ask me and Max started barking up a storm. Somehow (and luckily for my date), Max stopped barking. Max was good with children. He would play with nieces when they were toddlers and never get rough with them. He's understanding of them being smaller was incredible. I loved seeing him leap (like a deer) from the back bushes of our house when we called him. If we dared say the word "walk" he would bolt to the front gate and wait for us. We learned that if Max was in hearing distance we needed to spell W-A-L-K instead of say it. Max had a food dance that he started at the mention of food and happily engage in as his food was brought to him.

As I came home through the years, I could see how much he was aging. Coming home for Christmas and seeing him was the hardest. He was all gray in the face. My dad had said that he could no longer hear (birds and cats would walk right in front of him without care) and the tumors (that Boxers are prone to) had increased significantly. He was longer able to support his body on all fours. His "standing" was more so him putting all of his weight on his hinds legs without completely sitting down. He was skinny. Though he was eating, the tumors were literally sucking the life out of him. My mom and I had gone out shopping one day and Nic called me: "Babe, I came out and looked at Max's tumors and they're really bad. He really needs to be put down. He's suffering." I began crying and told him I didn't want to talk about it. Putting Max down was a discussion no one in the family wanted to have, but I think in the back of our minds we all knew it was time.

Today, my parents put Max down. He was 15 years old, which is the equivalent to 76 years in human years. They took Max to the vet and the doctor said he lived a good life, but it was time. The vet explained to my dad and older brother that even if they were to remove all his tumors, it was no guarantee that all the cancer would be gone. My dad and brother were able to stay with Max right up until they were to begin the procedure.

Farewell Max. We love you and you will never be forgotten.

*Editors Note: I called my younger brother after I posted this blog. He told me that he ended up going (he originally planned on not going. He said it was going to be too hard for him) and sitting with Max in the back of my dad's truck to make sure he didn't jump out. He said Max didn't even consider it. He just rested his head on my brother's shoulder and then Max lay his head in my brothers lap (I didn't say his to my brother, but I think Max knew it was time. He was enjoying the final ride with his best buddy). When they got to the vet, my dad went in and my brother got Max out. Max stood by his side until the vet brought a leash. They were all able to say one final good-bye and then they took him away. Max will truly be missed.

For Posterity

2010-02-16T16:30:00.001-08:00

My Grandma 1949:

My Mom 1979:

Me 2005:

My Uncle recently sent me a picture of my Grandma on her wedding day. He commented to me how much my mom looks like her when it was her wedding day. When I got married, my dad told me that I looked just like mom 25 years ago. As you can tell, good genes run in our family :)

Like giving birth. . .

2010-02-16T13:34:00.000-08:00

that's what I feel like with this project. It has taken FOREVER to get it EXACTLY the way I want. To get everything formatted. But it's done. So, without further delay:

Click on it. It will take you some where wonderful!

Pooka

2010-02-08T18:39:00.001-08:00

I should be working on something else, but I can't concentrate. Instead I'm blogging. About my cat none the less (but I guess this is what you blog about when you don't have any children-haha!). This is Pooka:

Pooka is a calico cat that I've had since Nic and I got engaged. Though she may be "my" cat, Nic has always been her favorite.

Nic is the only person's lap that she (as a kitten) would willing jump into, curl up and fall asleep. When Nic and I were first married (and Pooka was our only cat) she would jump into bed with us and squeeze her way between us. If we didn't budge, she would keep squeezing and squeezing until she got her way. She always wanted to be as close to Nic as possible. One time when Nic came home from work she heard him downstairs (when we lived in an apartment) and ran to the window to see him come up the stairs. Then she ran to the door (because she knew that's where he would be coming from). When Nic didn't come through the door, she ran back to the window, heard him again and meowed. Then she ran to the door. Nic still didn't come in. Back to the window she went, meowed again and this time waited until she saw him walk up the stairs before she ran to the door. I am not making any of this up! She LOVES Nic. She also likes to fetch-yes like a dog does. Nic discovered this when he was playing with her once. He would throw her toy, she would chase after it and bring it back. Then it would repeat. When she was a kitten (and the only cat) she would do this all the time, now it's on her terms. If she wants to play, she will find an object (usually a water bottle cap or the tie around the milk jug) and bring it to your feet (if your seating or standing) or your hands (and nudge them). It's so cute.

If Nic (not so much me) has been gone for a few days, she CRAVES his attention when he gets home. She follows him around until he picks her up and then she cuddles into him. She gets so excited to see and be with him that her nose starts running. We let her sleep in the room with us at night (because she's the queen cat and she needs that extra attention) and around 4 in the AM, she'll start nudging us (mostly me) to let her out. Without fail I will get out of bed, go to the door and call her so she'll go out. She never moves. She just repositions herself on the bed (usually where I got up from). I'll come back to bed defeated and beg Nic to put her out because she won't let me sleep. What does she do? She leaps off the bed when Nic calls her and willingly goes out. Whenever that happens, it is usually followed by "stupid cat" coming from me.

Though she may be full of love for Nic, she has been known to scratch a kid or two that is invading her space. We were baby-sitting our god-daughters one week and I hear the oldest just bawling her head off. I hurry to the crying and I just see blood. Pooka had scratched her face. I asked Nic what happened and he said that he had told our god-daughter to back away from Pooka (because he heard her growl-her warning) and she didn't. The next thing he heard was crying. Our god-daughter since refers to Pooka as the "not nice" kitty. So sad.

So there it is. Our cat Pooka. Full of love and attitude. Oh yeah, she's a guard cat too-but that's a different story, for another time.

Hair Spray Dilema

2010-02-05T06:58:00.001-08:00

Since I've quit my job, our income has been cut in half. This is an adjustment that has not been without it's challenges but we're trying our best to make it work. Case in point? Our trip to Wal-Mart yesterday. On the list: hair spray, liquid hand soap and yogurt.

Now, I used to be a salon brat. Going in every four weeks for a trip and six weeks for a cut. Getting my hair colored about every other month. I used the best (salon) products on my hair, even if they cost an arm and a leg. But when we moved into our house, I sacrificed going to the salon as much and stopped using salon products and started using high-end store products. My weapon of choice? Aussie*.

Aussie products smell wonderful and don't leave your hair feeling like it's heavy with product. I love it! I discovered Aussie my senior year of high school and used it through out college and my single days. Going back to Aussie was like going home, it just felt so right :) !

I digress. . .where was I again? Oh, Wal-Mart. Typically at Wal-Mart I would buy this:

This baby cost $4 a pop and it's only 8 oz (though this bottle says 10 oz). Usually I wouldn't even blink at paying that but when you're trying to SAVE money, paying $4 for hair spray seems silly. As I walked by it, I let out a heavy sigh and went to this:

White Rain. $1 for 7 oz. A steal of a deal. But I hate the way my hair feels when I use it and it totally smells like alcohol-gross! As I picked it up off the shelf, I mumbled under my breath: "This sucks!" And my dear hubby looked concerned. He then began to justify why buying the $4 bottle would be okay: 'It will last longer since it has more ounces', 'This a better product', 'It's on sale (which it wasn't)'. This is why I love my husband so dearly, he always trys to make me happy. I couldn't justify buying Aussie-paying $4 more for just ONE ounce just doesn't make sense. So I made the grown up decision and bought White Rain.

We walked out of Wal-Mart only spending $5.07-pretty darn good if I do say so myself.

*I have since learned that Aussie does animal testing on their products and will no longer be using them. Stinky cheese. This is the same reason I stopped using Cover Girl cosmetics.

Young Women Evolution of Dance

2010-02-03T20:48:00.001-08:00

I'm now serving as a counselor for the Beehives and I LOVE it! I've been with these girls since they were in Valiant 10's. I love being able to see them grow.

This month we were in charge of our activity and we decided on a talent show. Every youth group was supposed to do a skit (Deacons, Teachers, Priests, Beehives, Mia Maids and Laurels) and the Leader groups (Bishopric, YM Leaders and YW Leaders) and then individuals could sign up. Our Beehives rocked it lip-syncing and dancing to "Once There was a Snowman" by Inside Out . I forgot to record it though-darn! Us YW Leaders busted a move and did evolution of dance it was fun. Check it out:

We're glad everyone had such a good time!

The Best of 2009

2010-01-23T16:51:00.000-08:00

. . .I know it's a little late, but better late than never!

7.5 Years

2010-01-08T08:00:00.000-08:00

Five years ago today, Nic and I were sealed for time and all eternity. When I stop and think about everything that happened during our relationship prior to getting married, it really makes me realize that the Lord truly intervened in our relationship. Especially from the start.

Nic and I met in July of 2002 (7.5 years ago). At first I thought he was a jerk and I heard that he had a "history" so I decided to "play" him. But after a while I found that I just couldn't do it. He was too nice of a guy. About two months after dating, I decided to heed the counsel of one of my Young Women's advisers that had counseled us (when we began dating) to pray about the boys that we were dating, to know if they were ones we should be dating. While I was praying I got the VERY distinct answer that I could marry Nic. I totally stopped during my prayer. Marriage was the LAST thing that I was thinking about, I was freaked out. How in the world was I supposed to bring this up to a guy that I had been dating only for a couple of months?!

We had a lot of ups and downs during our dating years. Sometimes we would be together, sometimes we wouldn't be. We were much like Ross and Rachel ("We were on a break!"). I think my friends just stopped trying to figure out if we were or weren't together. Even when we weren't together, Nic was still around. He was my best friend.

I'm so grateful for Nic. He is truly my everything. Here is a list of 5 reason I love my hubby:

1) He makes me feel like a queen. He has never spoken to me with a harsh tone-not even when he's upset (which, honestly hardly ever happens). He always treats me with love and respect.

2) He thinks I'm a good cook. I can make anything and he thinks it's the best thing every. I'm not lacking in my culinary skills by any means, but sometimes some things are better than others. But no matter what, it's always: "Thanks babe. That was so good."

3) He encourages me. When I have thought about doing something and had doubts he has been there to tell me that I can do it. He's always letting me know that I can achieve anything I put my mind to.

4) He is affectionate. I love that we can fall asleep cuddled together or just holding hands.

5) His faith and testimony. It seems that no matter what trials have happened in our life, he will be the first one to say: "We have to have faith. The Lord will provide." He's unshakable when hard times fall upon us. He is my rock.

I love you Nicolas Ryan! Here's to another five (or 7.5) years.

'Nuf Said

2010-01-04T22:52:00.001-08:00

More to come!

2010-01-02T18:35:00.000-08:00

I'm working on a "Year in Review" but I'm totally blogged out for the day. Check back within the next week.

Peace out y'all!

Hair!

2010-01-02T17:51:00.000-08:00

Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen

I am a hair freak! I love changing it. Sticking with one hair-style and color is totally NOT me. My stylist always jokes with me that I change my hair so much that Nic must feel like he gets a new woman every two months, and funny enough that's what Nic often jokes about.

I think it all started back in the summer of '98 when I went to Belgium and came back (to my mom's surprise) with blonde in my hair. I've had long hair, short hair and super short hair. I've had blonde, carmel, and platinum blonde in my hair. Recently I've FINALLY been able to have my hair exactly how I want it. And I think this style and color is here to stay (with some subtle changes of course). Here's the evolution of my hair within the last year(s).

Short and sassy

Rocker look: light to dark-little longer

Blonde and wavy

Blonde with a flip

Not my real hair. Just fun to throw in.

Now, here is what I call my hair liberation and I TOTALLY love it!!! I went red. The picture on top is a vibrant fire engine red AND I got bangs for the first time in a really, really, REALLY long time. At first, I felt like a little girl but they grew on me. I loved the vibrant color but it started fading to pink and a nasty lookin' orangy pink-not what I wanted. So, I had to go back to my stylist and go for a more subtle red (picture on the bottom). I still like it, but I want the "pop" back. Maybe when I'm working again and can afford the upkeep I'll go back. But for now, it will do.

Like I said I LOVE this new color and it's here to stay. Sorry mama, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do :)

The Last 10 years

2010-01-02T16:25:00.000-08:00

Since it's the beginning of a new decade, I decided to hit on some of my highlights from the last 10 years. Enjoy!

2000-Moved to Rexburg to attend BYU-Idaho. Though I wasn't too excited about attending a church school, it was the best decision I ever made. Said good-bye to my grandma, Rosario.

2001-Made the decision for the fall semester of '01 to move into a house where I knew NO ONE. It was a little scary and nerve racking at first, but I don't regret it one bit. The girls I met are my very best friends. Laughter and tears we survived it all.

2002-Moved to Boise with the intention of finishing my education. I took a break. . .a very long break. Met a boy (or two or three) but only one truly caught my attention, right babe: ;)

2003-Can you believe I can't think of anything for 2003??? I'm sure it was full of surprises though. It seems my life is NEVER boring.

2004-Got engaged and started planning a wedding.

2005-Got married!

2006-Tried to start a family. Found out it would be harder than anticipated, especially emotionally.

2007-Went on a cruise. It was WONDERFUL!!! Longing to go on another one. Maybe in a few years.

2008-Became homeowners.

2009-Became paper pregnant. Quit my job and made the decision to go back to school.

I can't wait to see what the next 10 years bring us!

The dawn of a new decade

2010-01-01T09:22:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!! Wow, it's crazy to think that 2009 has come and gone. But there are so many new things waiting for Nic and I this year and we are very excited.

We spent New Year's Eve with our friends the Fenns. It was filled with games, food, fun and new friends. We played games right up until 10 minutes before the stroke of midnight. And then we rang in the new year with Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark. It's so sad to see Dick Clark after his stroke. Here are some pictures from our night of ringing in the New Year. Happy New Year everyone!

Christmas, Christmas time is here!

2009-12-31T12:51:00.000-08:00

This Christmas we headed home to California. The original plan was to leave at 5 am, but we didn't end up leaving until 8am. Delay was due in part to me NOT sleeping and trying to finish Christmas presents, Nic only getting 3 hours of sleep and still having to pack. Every time we head down to Cali I say I'm going to get my packing done early and it NEVER happens. *Sigh* All is well.

Heading down, we got to stop in Lincoln and pick my niece (Jacob's daughter) Mia. Unlike most times she was happy to see us, we were greeted with hugs! I'm sure her mom did a lot of prepping with her. Laurel is really nice about letting us picking up Mia to bring her down to Merced to spend some time with her while we are in town. I'm so grateful for that. Mia is growing up sooo much. She is very independent and wants to do things all by herself. Mia and Nic got to be best buds. It was so cute to see her cuddle on Nic and want to spend some time with him. I can't wait for Nic to be able to do that with our kids-some day. We got to have two Christmas' with Mia. Well, more like Mia got to have two Christmas'. One was with us before she left to go back home and the other one was with her mom on Christmas Day. The last day there it was getting hard for her (being away from your other family for five days can be rough), so I told her that I ran into Santa Claus and he told me that she had been such a good girl that she got have two Christmas'. She was a excited but we had to make a call to Santa (aka Nic) so he could tell her himself.

My mom tells me that she loves it when Nic and I come home because all my siblings make sure to come over. One night the kids were in the front room playing a game and I asked my mom if her and dad wanted to come play. She said no, "I'm just enjoying hearing you guys laugh in the other room."

We took our Wii down and it was a HUGE hit! The first night we rocked out to Rock Band. My mom rocked out until 11:30 pm (waaay past her bedtime) and us kids stayed up until about 2 AM playing. It was fun. A couple of days later we bought Rayman Raving Rabbids 2 and that game NEVER went off. Our last night there Jacob wanted to have a championship match! Jacob's girlfriend Summer is usually pretty quiet, but when were were playing-I never heard her talk so much. I lot of smack talk too! If you haven't played this game, I suggest you do. Some of the concepts are gross (a burping contest where you try to destroy the city) but it's so much fun.

Christmas Eve we made tamales (with A Christmas Story playing in the back ground) and everyone helped this year. My mom wasn't used to having so many hands helped she would have to tell us to take a break. She still refused to let me help roll, even though I've made tamales several times on my own. Maybe in two years I'll be grown up enough to help. Oh! And to those of you that called me a tamale Nazi last year, I'm not nearly as bad as my mama. Trust me.

This year I must have been a very good girl because I got what I wanted for Christmas. A wok and a sewing machine. Well, technically I got a traveling case for my sewing machine and the machine its self will be here on Monday. When Nic put my present under the tree, I (thought I ) knew what it was, but he refused to let me hold it. Christmas morning I opened it and I was a little confused. Nic got a laugh out of my confusion. I also got two movies that I absolutely LOVE. The first one was from my brother Ricky-The Last Dragon. It is totally cheesy but it's so good. And Nic bought me Santa Claus the Movie. To me, this movie is the only Christmas movie that captures the magicalness (is that a word) of Christmas. I LOVED this movie growing up. Nic and I bought it a couple of years ago but we lost it. So I was REALLY excited when I got it this year. If you haven't seen this movie, you need to. It's great. The best Christmas present given Christmas Day? Ricky have Jacob a pair of Transformers underwear. I knew what it was before he opened it and had to do my best not to laugh.

Christmas night we went to go see Sherlock Holmes. It was good, but not the best movie I've seen. It's just nice to see that Robert Downey, JR turned his life of self-destruction around and is now successful. After the movie, everyone came back to my parents so we could play Cranium (my niece Brandie's request). My team totally dominated and we won.

Meeting Fayth

2009-12-28T13:12:00.000-08:00

*Nic had a stuff bear when he had cancer, so it seemed fitting he give one to Fayth.

If any of you are friends of mine on facebook, then you know about my campaign to help Fayth and her family this holiday season.

Fayth is the seven year-old niece of one of my classmates from high school. Fayth has stage 2 Leukemia. My friend was asking people for help to make this holiday season wonderful for Fayth and her family. Be it in the form of money (for bills and gas) or Christmas presents.

As many of you know, Nic had cancer when he was younger, so anything that has to do with this horrible disease, I always try and help. For about two weeks, all my FB status' were about asking for help in spreading Christmas cheer for Fayth and her family. My friend and Fayth's family were touched by my efforts and especially so to learn that Nic was a 12 year survivor.

My friend asked Nic and I to come over so Fayth could meet him and so Nic could chat with the family. We had to move somethings around but we were able to meet Fayth and her family. Can I just say that it was so special. I had to do my best not to cry.

Nic was his charming self and was able to put a smile on every one's face, especially Fayth. My friend told me that the whole day Fayth's mom, Danielle, was really quiet and itching to head to Fresno for dinner. But when Nic got there, just opened up and forgot about her plans. I think it was a relief for Danielle to be able to talk to someone who understood what little Fayth is going through.

After our visit, we were able to take some pictures to remember everything. This was an experience that I will never forget. I'm so grateful for the opportunity I had to meet Fayth and her family. The last update we got is that Fayth's leukemia is in remission, but they are still in need of some financial help to cover the medical bills. If you would like to help Fayth, please email me at: ward_family_2005@hotmail.com (subject line Fayth). Thank you to my friends who help make Christmas a little more special for a little girl and her family.

The slap, kick and punch to my self-esteem

2009-12-16T08:00:00.000-08:00

Here's the story that you guys have been waiting for. For all intent and purposes, names of co-workers and place of employment have changed. Though I did not leave there with the best of feelings, I do not want to totally black ball them (especially since their listed with google search).

Here's some history: November of 2007, I left "my previous life" and came to work for Hunter Law. I had met with the head attorney, Mr. Sweet, and he was an amazing man. In December of last year, I had my year review. Within my year of employment I ran the office by myself for 2 months (with "help" from the Mr. Sweet's wife). I worked closely with the (then) litigation paralegal to develop ways for the office to be more effective. I was responsible for the pre-litigation work flow and training new employees. I worked close with the assistant/litigation attorney in developing spreadsheets in Access and Excel to help manage our case flow better. I formatted templates for our most frequently used documents (instead of having to find one that you remember using 3+ months ago), formed protocols for office flow and created an employee "how-to" guide for new employees. I was positive. I was happy. I was enjoying work. I was ready to work. Imagine my shock when I met with Mr. Sweet and he said: "Everything that you've told me is true, but I'm sorry, we just don't have any money. But if you feel you could make that money else where then go ahead. I'll write letters of recommendation for you." Not only was I not getting a raise, nor was he willing to negotiate more vacation time he was pretty much telling me to leave (though you may be reading it and it doesn't sound that way, trust me. It did). I continued working. . .not happily. . . but I continued.

The decision to quit was NOT an easy one. We knew back in July that I should leave. We knew that I should quit my job and be home. Getting our home ready for a child. But anyone that knows me, knows that I am a planner and quitting and doing nothing did NOT make sense to me . We had prayed about it but I wasn't ready to make that kind of jump. Through some experiences in my life, I knew that this was the leap of faith the Lord needed me to take. So, I made the decision to quit.

I gave my notice, and few days later all HELL broke lose and came to surface. Back in April(ish), the receptionist, Mustang Sally, was promoted to Litigation assistant. She deserved it. Most would think a raise would come with a promotion but it did not. Around the same time I gave my notice Mustang Sally received an offer she couldn't refuse. She shared with the Litigation attorney and he went and talked to Mr. Sweet. Mr. Sweet told him that they were already paying Mustang Sally "x" amount of dollars. Litigation attorney went to Mustang Sally, and she told him that simply wasn't true. Litigation attorney goes back to Mr. Sweet. Mr. Sweet goes to his wife (who makes all the financial decisions of the practice) and comes back to Litigation attorney and tells him, "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Georgia is actually making that much." Georgia is another paralegal in the office who has been here a year less than me. The litigation attorney was able to find out that within the last year Georgia has been here she has received THREE raises. One before I asked for mine. Another AFTER I asked for my raise and a third right before what would have (again) been my yearly review. She is making a very (VERY) significant amount more than me a year. If you know how much our adoption fee is, then you know how much.

Needless to say I was a little upset. I'm not mad at Georgia. She is a fine paralegal, but do her abilities supersede mine? Not at all. We're pretty fairly matched, though my being technologically savvy saved the firm money. They didn't have to hire an outside cameraman to interview Dr's for a big case. I was able to do that. When a family friend, of a big case, dropped by a video of them before the accident I was able to extract and reformat the video clip. We didn't have to send it out (and pay more money). When the firm needed photos for the web-site, they didn't need to hire a photographer, I did it.

I did A LOT of things for Hunter Law, but apparently they didn't think they were important enough. After I gave my notice Mr. Sweet's wife didn't talk to me at all. She didn't even ask me what my plans were for Thanksgiving-she asked everyone else. Now, I'm not asking her to be my best friend, but at least show a little professional courtesy. *Sigh* All is well. Over and done with and I am a free woman.

However, there are a few things that I would like to tell Mr. Sweet's wife. They are as follows:
1) Medicaid and Medicare are to completely different insurers. Their policies are procedures are COMPLETELY different. I've explained this to you many times. I'm glad I don't have to explain it to you again.

2) When you save a scanned document, you're not saving it to Word Perfect. You're saving it to the computer. It's not even in Word Perfect format.

3)You know that twitch that your lip starts doing when you get upset? It drives me crazy. There have been times that I've wanted to hit you to make it stop.

4) When you stick your nose in files when you have ABSOLUTELY no idea what is going on and go complain to Mr. Sweet, you cause unnecessary drama.

5) If "nothing has been done" on a file, it's because nothing can be done.

6) Though you hail yourself to be a good "Christian" you're greedy actions and behavior say otherwise.

7) I do not wish harm on people, but I think I'd be okay if a house landed on you.

I am free woman people!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2009-11-26T06:56:00.000-08:00

The BIG 3-0!

2009-10-08T15:53:00.000-07:00

This handsome devil turned 30 in September. Since it was a milestone birthday, we celebrated really big. I did "30 Days of Nic." It was really fun coming up with things to do for him. I had wanted to buy him a present for every day, but due to the whole in my pocket (i.e. no dinero) I bought him some big gifts and did small things for him and cooked some of his favorite meals. One thing I planned was a kickball game to remember the days of yester-year. We played at the field area in front of our subdivision. I went and got dinner and had Nic meet me. We were enjoying our meal when some friends of ours pulled up. Nic said: "Hey, look who just pulled up." I told him they must just be coming to the park for FHE. Next thing we know the kids come running out with big happy faces: "Are you ready to play kickball?" Nic looked up at me and said: "Kickball?!" "Happy 30 days of Nic!" More friends came and it was a fun time.

Some of the big gifts included a grill (too bad he won't be able to use it until next year), a video tribute, Metallica tickets (I bought them back in April-I almost gave them to him for Father's Day) and a book of stories that I collected from his friends and family. It was really fun getting everything together. Some of the stories were funny and some were really tender.

The day before his birthday, we had a surprise party for him. Bless Nic's little heart he almost found out about it, but when he saw the invitation on a friend's fridge he backed out of the kitchen and said he could not go in there. Saturday morning I went over to my friend Sarah's house to get everything going. Nic was away with the scouts for a camp out so it worked out perfectly-however he got back earlier than I had expected so I had to ditch Sarah and come home. I hurried to get ready and we went to a movie with the excuse that Sarah had invited us over for dinner and that we needed to be at her house at 7pm (on the invitations I said the guest of honor would be getting there at 7 SHARP!). The movie ran later than I had expected and we didn't get there until 7:30. I felt like such a loser. I'm kind'a anal when it comes to gatherings starting on time and the fact that it was my own party and I was late kind'a made me sad. . .all is well. Everyone had fun.

I also had a SUPER yummy cake made-no lie! It was the best cake I've ever had. I lady in our ward makes cakes. She did a fantastic job!

I found a cake design I liked and she went for it. The colors were exactly what I wanted and the flavors were DELICIOUS!! The top of the cake was a two layer white cake with a chocolate pudding filling and the bottom was THREE layer (yes 1-2-3 layers) chocolate with raspberry filling. I am not a huge chocolate and raspberry fan but it was sooooooooo incredibly yummy! The fondant was good too-it was marshmallow fondant. If you live in the Boise area and need a cake you need to get in touch with Mayona. You will not regret it! I'm trying to think of another reason I would need to get a cake from her.

I know I've taken to our blog a lot to say how much I appreciate my husband but it's so true. He is everything I could have wanted in a husband. He helps me and encourages me. He makes me laugh and helps dry my tears. He works hard. I love him so much!

Happy Birthday babe! I hope it was a great day for you.

p.s. When I posted the note about being a bad blogger, Nic felt kind'a sad that I didn't post anything about his birthday (which was before I even posted that). Sorry babe :(

Summer Lovin'

2009-10-06T15:31:00.000-07:00

had me a blast! Summer lovin' happened so fast.

Summer came and went (and yes-I'm just barely blogging about it). I started out training for a triathlon but my knees and hips (read right knee and hip) did not agree with that so I had to stop. Majorly bummed, but I went and supported my two friends that I had started training with. They did AWESOME! But it made me super depressed that I couldn't compete.

This summer we spent some time at the lake (see previous post) with friends and it was fun. I love spending time in the water, it makes me feel at peace. We also went camping with Nic's family this year at Hell's Canyon, but it was so BLOODY hot that I never took my camera out but on an over-cast day when Nic and I went for a drive. Totally uncomfortable. Rumor is next year we are heading to Florence, Oregon-I'm totally down for that!

Instead of a mid-summer trip to California, we went at the end of August for my 10 year high school reunion. It was a blast. But the trip was too short and I didn't get to spend a lot of time with my family. Bummer. The nice thing though was that Nic and I FINALLY decided to take our time getting there. We stopped in Reno and stayed at Circus Circus on the way to Cali.

The day before the reunion (Friday) we had a gathering at a local park-a pack and play. We encouraged people to come with food and their kids. We didn't have as good a turn-out as we would have liked but it was still fun. I was able to catch up with my brother from another mother (at least one of them-he's s twin) and it felt just like yesterday we were running through the streets of our neighborhood playing ditch and home-run derby. The next day (Saturday) was the actual reunion. Which had a couple of surprises.

Surprise #1: Nic working the bar. Yes the bar where they serve alcoholic beverages. The actual bar tender somehow convinced Nic to help him tend. At first it was just water. Then wine. Then beer. Then mixed drinks. I expected him to start spinning and flipping bottles by the end of the night. The plus? He go tipped out. Surprise #2: We had enough food for everyone. We thought we would run out. But there was plenty left over. And the final surprise. Surprise #3: I was taking pictures of everyone having a good time and dancing the night away and then I hear cheering. Then I hear: "Elaine! Elaine! Look! Take a picture!" I figured it was one of my fellow classmates tearing up the dance floor. I look over and guess who it was? Yep. Nic! *Sigh* My hubby. . .

The reunion was really fun. Hopefully for the next one we will have a larger turn out.

I'm a bad blogger :(

2009-09-22T15:19:00.000-07:00

Well, what can I say. I try and try and try to keep an updated blog but it's just so stinkin' hard. Our life really isn't that exciting. We're boring people. We pretty much work, come home, cook dinner and go to bed. And then it starts all over for us. Boring, huh? I will be posting in the next couple of days though so stay tuned (if any one even reads this anymore).

Remembering 9/11

2009-09-11T11:12:00.000-07:00

I posted this last year, but I decided to post it again.

It was a Tuesday. I was lying in my bed listening to the radio, debating whether or not I wanted to go to class that day. All of a sudden the song cuts out and the morning show DJ says: "We just got a call from a listener that said an air plane just crashed into the World Trade Center. Please stay with us as we try to verify the details." I immediately shot up in bed and started thinking 'Oh my gosh! If there's any truth to it, it will be on CNN.'

I ran upstairs to our living room and turned on the TV. And there was live footage. I couldn't believe my eyes. Smoke was coming from the North Tower. As I was struggling to make sense of what was going on, I saw the second airplane crash into the South Tower. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; I could feel the tears start to swell up.

My roommates are amazed at me being up and seeing me glued to the TV. I hear them asking me questions, but I ignore them hoping that they will glance at the TV to see what's happening. I'm frozen, still trying to make sense of what I'm seeing. The next thing I see are the towers crashing and people running in fear. I'm no longer able to hold back the tears. Why is this happening? Who would do this? Why? Why?? Why???

After watching live footage, for what seemed like forever, I finally peel myself away from the TV and head to campus. The feeling on the BYU-Idaho campus that day was one that I will never forget. It was so somber. As you walked on campus, it was so eerily quiet. No smiles. No laughter. You could feel there was a sense of loss that day. You knew that no matter our circumstances, we were all changed that day.

The President gave an address that night and I listened. He said that those horrible acts my have shattered the steels of those buildings but "they cannot dent the steel of American resolve." We as a nation united that day. Policemen and Firefighters became super heroes. Young men made the decision to put their life on hold and rise to the special calling of defending the freedom of our nation. My freedom. Your freedom.

That week on campus it was homecoming. One of the last homecomings for the school but instead of celebrating with the big razzle dazzle, it was filled with moments of silence and the singing of the song "(I'm proud to be an American) God Bless the USA." As we sang that song, it brought a sense of pride. One that I had never felt before. The chorus of that song took on a special meaning that week:

"And I'm proud to be an American,
where at least I know I'm free.

And I won't forget the men who died,
and gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up! next to you
and defend her still today

'Cause there ain't do doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA."

I was changed that day. From that day forward, I cry every time our flag is raised and our National Anthem sung. I'm not going to stand here and say whether the war is a good thing or bad thing but all I know is that these men are defending my freedom. On this day, I would (again) ask that we do not criticize our President's decision to send our men off to war but that we stand beside them as they put their lives in danger to defend our very freedom and help rebuild a nation.

Dear Pita Pit

2009-08-20T12:07:00.000-07:00

I love, love, LOVE your pitas (especially the Philly Steak) but do you really need to put so much lettuce in it? Lettuce makes up 3/4's of my pita. We need to work on this.

Love,
me

Can you feel it? Can you Smell it?

2009-08-06T17:30:00.000-07:00

In exactly 28 days Nic and I will be decked out in:

to watch some of:

AND

AND

AND

Remember THIS post? Well, this time around it's on our home turf and I think the turn out is going to be just a little different.

The boys are back in town baby! I LOVE this time of year!!

BOISE! STATE!!

Boise Twilight Criterium

2009-07-30T19:15:00.001-07:00

After spending a good part of the afternoon at the lake, we headed down-town with the Phelps Family to watch the Boise Twilight Criterium. In Audra's quest for some power bars a guy told her about the Criterium and there would be booths there with free samples. He was wrong. But we were so glad we went.

At first, we were at the Boise Centre on the Grove and we were surrounded by a beer fest-literally. It was some type of going green festival that was celebrating "natural" beer. I thought all beer was natural, but whatever. Luckily, Nic had his phone and I had him search the criterium. We were just a block away.

When we got there a men's race was just finishing. We walked around a bit and founded a perfect spot before the race started. Watching was really exciting. The racers bike for 50 minutes and then when with like 10 minutes left the start counting down laps. Every lap there is a prize. There pretty small prizes, but if you win a lot of laps it adds up. For a few laps one guy would be in the lead and then a few laps later, someone else would be in the lead. The men's race we watched was cool. The biker that was in the lead about 40% of the time had fell behind within the last few laps. Like all the way to the back. Somehow he totally pulled through on the last lap and WON-totally sweet!

(Beginning of the men's race)

I don't know about you all, but I would be so nervous riding in a group like that. I'd freak myself out and hit someone. Yikes! They rode around so stinking fast. I almost wanted a wipe out to happen so I could get a picture of it.

<-----This is the guy that won. This isn't his winning shot I didn't like the way it turned out so I deleted it. :( After this race, all of us were pretty much ready to go. Too much sun but then they announced that the women's race was getting ready to begin that it would be Olympic Gold Medalist, Kristin Armstrong's (who lives in Boise)last race as she would be retiring. * * * Side note: why is it that olympic athletes retire after they get the gold? Wouldn't you want two or more??? Is Michael Phelps considered an over-achiever??? * * *

As we're waiting for the woman's pro-race to start, Audra's mentions to me: "Is Jen Halladay (a lady in our ward) racing?" As they are announcing the beginning of the race we hear her name. For get about Kristin Armstrong, we were all about rooting for Jen. . .I think we were the only ones. The mens race was fun to watch but it felt SOOO long. The women's race was totally different. I think it was because we knew someone and we would always be on the look out for her.

This is Jen in the lead with her pink socks. That's how we alway knew it was her. We would just have to look for her socks. ----------------->

And it case you're wondering what it looks like to have an olympian trailing behind you, it looks like this:

We were so proud of Jen. We kept yelling: "you can do it!" "You can beat her!"

Even though it's blurry I LOVE this -------> picture of Jen. You get a sense of how fast she's going. Unfortunately, Jen didn't win and Ms. Olympian did. Jen was upset, but she was happy that it was Kristin. She said they're like sisters and Kristin didn't care about beating anyone else except for Jen-good ol' sibling rivalry :)

We didn't stay for the men's pro because we were exhausted. But we will definitely be there next year for the whole thing. So much fun!

Lucky Peak

2009-07-30T17:41:00.000-07:00

My friend Audra recently introduced me to Sandy Point as we were looking for a place to practice our open water swimming for the Y not Tri (which sadly I won't be doing now-I'm totally bummed). So, a couple of weeks ago Nic and I decided to have a BBQ out there and invite some friends out to Sandy Point Beach. While I have been up to Lucky Peak quite a few times (above the dam) I have never been to Sandy Point the whole SEVEN years I have lived here in Boise. This trip was long over due. It was so much fun!

(Adeline with her watermelon tongue)

(Sweet McKenna who just recently learned what a camera does. She would see me holding it and say 'cheese' or something to that effect)

(Henry enjoying lunch)

(Allison smiling for the camera)

(Lora soaking up the rays)

(some of the gang)

(The Hubby)

Sandy Point is really cool because there is a fountain out in the middle and the water is shallow enough that adults can walk out to it and back (it comes up to just pass my chest). The only real downer is that the water is FREEZING but on a scorching summer day it feels oh so good! The Phelps family brought a raft that they were generous to share with the Howard family. We through McKenna and Allison in there and they had a blast. We would walk out to the fountain and then walk back to shore and then do it again. A little boring for us adults but the kids had fun. The funniest thing was when we were coming back to shore once and we saw Audra's son Henry smiling at us sitting on another person's raft! The had brought him out because he was at the shore crying for his mom.

We forgot Nic's camera (which is h2o proof) so we didn't get any pictures of the kids in the raft. We'll get some this weekend.

Elaine Sunglasses

2009-07-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

As you many of you know, we have a god-daughter named Allison. She is adorable and we have shared many adventures and funny times with her (you can go here, here or here to check 'em out). Well, a couple of months a go I got a text from Mel saying that they took Allison out to pick out some sun glasses and she picked out some Hannah Montana stunn'a shades because "they look just like Elaine! (that is a direct quote from Miss Allie)" We went over to Mel's house that day and Allison was very excited to show me her sunglasses. We finally got a picture of us with our fabulous stunn'a shades on a couple of weeks ago while up at Sandy Point.

What do you think, do you me match?

p.s. Pictures from Sandy Point will be coming!

You have to laugh

2009-07-17T22:02:00.000-07:00

Today Nic had the opportunity to go with the youth of our ward to the temple to do baptisms for the dead. He was waiting to go into the waiting room and one of the sister temple workers came over to him. Here is there conversations:

Sister: You can go ahead and head on in there.

Nic: Oh, I know but I never like being the first one to the party.

Sister: Well, there's a cute girl in there.

(Nic peaks into and sees one of the girls from our ward, and yes-she is a very cute girl)

Nic: Yeah. . . I don't think my wife would appreciate me sitting next to a cute girl.

When he told me this, I just had to laugh. Nic has a full beard. What kind of 16-18 year old do you know that has a full beard?!

Just because

2009-06-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

This is my hubby:

I think he's pretty much the greatest thing since sliced bread. . .no-since chocolate! He always impresses me with his strong work ethic and his willingness to do (now) whatever it takes to make sure I am home with our children (when they start coming). He always listens to me complain and never asks: "Are you sure you're not over-reacting?" though, I might be just a little. He does the dishes when I cook (and even when he cooks). He tells me I look good, even though I've put the weight back on that I've lost (darn you stress eating). I know that I can be myself around him. He has never expected me to be the "perfect house wife." He lets me know he loves me every day. He smiles when I burp. He gives the best hugs. I know that after a bad day, I can fall asleep in his arms and know that everything will be okay.

Thanks babe! I love you and I'm so grateful for everything you do.

That's it. Just wanted to make you readers jealous! :)

Day of Father

2009-06-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

Today is the day that we celebrate our fathers.

I'm grateful for my dad and for the example he is in my life. I'm grateful for his hard work and the encouragement he has given me and continues to give me. I'm so glad that, with his support, I feel I can do anything. He's stood by every decision I have made, and has been there to catch me if (and when) I fall.

I appreciate my father-in-law for raising such an AMAZING son and being there for his children when they need a helping hand. I appreciate the active role that he plays in his grand children's life.

Thanks for being such wonderful dads.

p.s. If you couldn't tell: Nic's dad is on the left and mine is one the right ;)

It is finished!

2009-05-29T12:22:00.001-07:00

Our adoption pass along cards are done-and we are very excited to start passing them out. you can CLICK HERE to see the final product. Nic and I have decided that from here on out we are not going to be putting any adoption/IVF related stuff on here. Though, this journey is a part of us we don't what it to seem that it's the ONLY part of us, does that make sense?

But in case you don't frequent Our Journey to Parenthood we would like to ask that if you would one of our pass along cards mailed to you, send your address to: ward_family_2005@hotmail.com and we will be sure to get one (or two or three) to you.

Adoption Profile

2009-05-27T09:47:00.002-07:00

We have finished our Adoption Profile-finally! If you take a gander to the right, you can click on our wonderful picture and it will take you to our profile. But the fun doesn't stop there, you can also copy and paste it on your blog too! Don't know how, I'll tell you (it's really easy).

First, log-in to your blog and go to your layout. Click on "Add a Gadget." Select "HTML/Java Script" as your gadget. Copy and paste the code. And there you go!

If you haven't already, you can go here to look for more ways you can help. Our application will be turned on June 1st and we are so excited. Technically, I guess we are doing things kind of backwards, but we want to spread the word now that we are adopting. We know that if we are doing everything we can, the Lord will help us.

Up and Running

2009-05-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

Our Journey to Parenthood blog is LIVE again. Be sure to check it out. I think you might like it (if I do say so myself). Thanks!

Adoption Pass Along Cards-Part II

2009-05-14T15:58:00.000-07:00

Here are the other samples that Amada has done up for us. Let us know what you think! Don't forget to visit HER SITE. Thanks guys.

(these are clickable)

We need your help!

2009-05-14T13:56:00.000-07:00

(Okay, AWESOME Amanda just sent me some more-I'll up load them later. So many choices!)

Okay. . .maybe it's not as 'urgent' as it may have come across, but it's definitely important. My friend Amanda has been busy designing our pass along card for us (CLICK HERE to check out her AWESOME work! For reals, check it out-but don't forget to come back.) and we're almost there.

Take a gander and let us know what you think. Remember, these are the cards that we will be handing out to friends & family in hopes that they will pass them along to potential birth mothers. Thanks guys!

(For some reason when you click on it, it doesn't get bigger. Sorry. If your Elaine's friend via facebook you can check it out there too-bigger!)

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed. . .

2009-05-09T13:02:00.001-07:00

My photography blog and our "journey to parenthood" are private right now. I'm going through and making some changes to them and I didn't want them "live" when I was doing that. So, for the next week or so they'll be private. I know our many followers (2??) will be disappointed. Thanks guys.

This just in. . .

2009-04-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

Hell has FROZEN over! My husband said that he wants to watch Weekend Sports Update on Sunday!

You may now return to regularly scheduled program.

Can you beat Coach Pete?

2009-04-11T11:19:00.000-07:00

For the last month I have been training for the Beat Coach Pete 5k. For those of you who don't know, a 5k is 3.1 miles. True, 3.1 miles may not sound like a lot (compared to a marathon or half marathon) but for someone who hasn't run in a LLOONNNGG time, 3 miles is a lot.

I some how convinced my friends Audra and Melanie to run with me too. And Nic, not wanting the girls to have all the fun decided to join us. Audra and I have have been working out and running together. We put in long hours to get here. . .unlike Nic, who would just run once a week and still be fine (that's what happens when in your previous life you were a cross-country athlete). For a while we didn't think I'd be able to run because my knee was giving me problems (swelling up really bad, pain moving, bruising) but I was just sure to ice it every time we finished running and my loving husband would massage Icy Hot into my knee (no matter how bad it hurt).

Well, the BIG day was today. We all got to the BSU Rec Center at 8 am. The race didn't start until 9:30, but we wanted to be sure early and not feel rushed. Take time just to soak everything in. Both Audra and I felt sick, Nic said it was pre-race jitters and that it happens to everyone. . .we didn't understand why we would get jitters. . .we didn't care about winning, we only cared about finishing!

(Melanie, Audra and I waiting for the race to start)

While we were waiting, I totally turned into a groupie and had to take a picture with some local DJ's. Nic made fun of me for saying about them being there. Especially KeKe Love. In my opinion that guys is pretty much AWESOME! Last year, to help make everyone aware about child abuse month, he stayed LIVE on the radio for 175 hours. All to bring awareness to child abuse. Well, this year he is doing it again. Accept this year he will be running 7 marathons in 7 DAYS!! Seven days, can you believe it? And he only has three weeks to train (he starts running on the 19th). Go KeKe!! Melanie, Audra and I started the race together, near the back before the strollers. We didn't want to get all run over by everyone sprinting off as soon as they said go. It was perfect the spot for us. We were able to set our own pace and pass everyone that sprinted out before us (and lost steam). We all did pretty good. Audra and I were able to take some time off our runs (Audra took off four and I took off three minutes), she finished at 32 mins and i finished at 33:50. . .I did loose some time because of my knee. I started with my knee brace on, but I ended up taking it off. . .though my knee was bothering me, the brace felt too constricting. . .no biggie. Although we all endured a lot of pain, the most important thing is that we finished!

Only one of us beat Coach Pete. Can you guess who????

Audra, Melanie and I all got a shirt that says: "I'll Beat Pete Next Year" and you can bet we will!

Now, time to get ready for the Y not Tri. . .but only after I go to the Dr to have my knee looked at, per the orders of Nic, Mama Audra, Melanie, my mama, Nic's mom. . . .you get the idea.

We want YOU!

2009-04-07T12:27:00.001-07:00

As many of you know, Nic and I are getting ready to begin the adoption process. We are finishing up our adoption profile, getting pass along cards ready, and getting ready to submit our paperwork next month.

Some people have asked us questions regarding adoption, so we decided to create a little question and answer session on our Journey to Parenthood blog. No question is off limits. You can either submit it on this blog (via the comments section) or you can email the questions to: ward_family_2005@hotmail.com with the subject line of "Adoption." We can't wait to hear from you guys!

Happiness is. . .

2009-03-26T12:01:00.000-07:00

"Happiness is a matter of how you feel INSIDE rather than things that are happening OUTSIDE."

I was looking at my Windows Live profile and this was a quote that I had included. I don't even remember putting it there, nor do I remember where it came from. All I do know is that it's something I really needed right now.

Many moons ago I used to be an EXTREMELY happy person. Always smiling. I mean, people would dare me NOT to smile and I couldn't do it. But as life happened and disappointments came, my happiness level slowly started getting smaller and smaller. I started dwelling on things that really didn't matter and things I couldn't control.

Not don't misunderstand me. I'm not walking around in this big cloud of doom and gloom, but I know that I am not the person that I once was. And that makes me sad. I think sometimes in life we fall into the "I'll be happy when. . ." type of thinking and we can't think that way. We have to be able to maintain a positive attitude no matter what life hands us and accept things for what they are.

I would encourage all of us to change our way of thinking and be HAPPY.

(p.s. I know this is more of a "personal" blog then what's going on with the Ward Clan, but I don't know how many people read my personal blog and I wanted everyone to hear this)

Long over due. . .

2009-03-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

And the answer is B) $54.47. Here is the proof:

And this is how much we saved total:

Pretty awesome, huh?! When I saw that over-all savings, I was totally pumped! The only thing we've completely eaten has been the banquet meals pot pies. I definitely recommend coupon clipping and taking advantage of in store rewards to any one. Go us!!

The person that answered it correctly, Amanda. Way to go girl! I give you an air high five-yeah!

What do you think?

2009-02-28T15:18:00.000-08:00

With the times being what they are and trying to save money for adoption and IVF we have been trying to save money where we can, especially when it comes to food. Our friend Jenni suggested we check out Pinching Your Pennies. It's about coupon clipping and using in-store deals. We've thought about coupon clipping before, but we figured it would be too much work especially since we don't get the sunday paper. After today though, I think I'm a believer. Here's a picture of everything we got at Albertsons:

Here is a list of everything that we got:
2 dozen eggs
7 Banquest Frozen Entrees
2 Banquet Frozen Dinners
12 Banquet Pot Pies
2 One pound bags of shrimp
1 Five pound bag of sugar
2 52 Fl oz of Welches Aqua Juice
2 Boxes Nabisco Saltines
3 Jello puddings
3 Jello Gelatins
2 boxes of Jello single servings
6 cans of Tomato Soup
4 boxes of Cereal
7 pounds of variety cut pork

My question to you: How much did we pay?
A) $100.89
B) $54.47
C) $35.67
D) $75.36

I'll give you the answer next week. Stay tuned!

The day we celebrate our love. . .

2009-02-19T19:31:00.000-08:00

This is what I got for Valentine's Day:

Nic was gone for a couple of days, so on Valentine's Day morning I went and picked him up at the airport. I was sooooooo happy to see him. I hate it when he's gone the bed-the bed is colder, I can't sleep and I get scared in our big house. We went to the grocery store to get some things for Valentine's Day dinner and then went to Shopko, which is a store that I think I have under appreciated the last six and a half years that I've been in Boise. After that, we went home just to cuddle and enjoy each other's company. Gosh! I really miss my hubby when he's gone.

After laying around for a few hours, Nic went out to get me one final Valentine's Day gift (well, two-roses and the newbook by Sheri L. Dew (man I love her!). We were going to go out for dinner at Texas Road House (our Bishop and his wife he given me a gift card for baby-sitting there SEVEN kids) but Nic and I decided to save it for another day. Instead, I made Cesar salad, shrimp scampi, garlic bread and baked spaghetti. I was going to make individual sized cakes, but after everything else I didn't have the energy :(

After dinner we watched this movie. And while I totally LOVED Michael Cera in this movie, I was a little disappointed. Nick and Norah's playlist (aka soundtrack) is one that I think I can get into but the movie was kind'a slow and all kind of rambled. It had some funny parts ("It's not a cab my friend. I promise."), but it was okay. Overall it was a great Valentine's Day and I'm so glad Nic was able to be home and spend it with me.

p.s. If any of you guys want the super yummy recipes, let me know and I'll email them to you.

Fixed for now

2009-02-09T12:07:00.001-08:00

Well, I think my page is fixed. . .though, I'm tired of the back ground and I need to change it up. I designed the background for my alma mater page, maybe I'll give it a go for our page. All my links are back up, but if yours is missing-let a sist'a know.

If you stalk me and want your blog listed, let me know and I'll throw it up. Peace out for now.

Problems

2009-02-06T23:25:00.001-08:00

So, I've been working on my high school reunion blog and our family blog and somewhere in there I lost everything on our family blog-totally sucks! Hopefully I'll have it fixed over the weekend. . .but probably not.

Adios guys!

Do you know what today is?

2009-01-08T21:44:00.000-08:00

Well it's Elvis' birthday AND it's our anniversary! Four years ago Nic and I were sealed for time and all eternity. Last night we were talking about the drive up to Oakland the day before the wedding (Pleasanton to be exact). Nic rode up in our rental with my brothers and I rode up with my parents. I never knew this but the night we got up there, the boys went for a walk to Wendy's in search of food. Probably not the best idea to go walking the streets of Pleasanton at night-not the best place. Then the next morning I rode to the temple with my parents. Looking back, it was kind of like my parents giving me away, it was nice and very symbolic I think. Though we've only been married for four years, Nic and I have been together (really) since 2002-this summer it will be SEVEN years!

This last year I think Nic and I have done the most growing. We bought a house (YEAH!!), made career decisions and decided how we were going to start our family. These very difficult decisions brought us closer together, especially spiritually. I think more than ever, we have learned that the Lord is overall.

I'm so very grateful for Nic and his constant support. He is truly the BEST husband a girl could ask for. He does the dishes (without being asked), he helps around the house, he does laundry, and he always takes care of me. He encourages me to be the very best person I can be and tells me that I can accomplish anything that I set my mind too. I appreciate his optimism and his desire to serve others.

I love you Nicolas Ryan!!!

Love,

Squeaky

'Twas the Night Before Christmas. . .with a twist

2008-12-22T10:30:00.000-08:00

When I was in Junior High (it could have been middle school), my parents took us kids to Fresno to one of the city museums for a "Mexican Christmas Celebration." There were MANY Christmas displays celebrating all cultures and Christmas traditions, but at 9 pm it was all about honoring the Mexican culture. There was mariachis and the reading of this poem.

Ever since college, I've always searched for it (found it) but never printed it off. Well, not this year. It is printed off and ready to go in my Christmas box after the holiday season. I hope you enjoy!

‘Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the casa,
Not a creature was stirring -- Caramba! Que pasa?
Los ninos were tucked away in their camas,
Some in long underwear, some in pajamas,

While hanging the stockings with mucho cuidado
In hopes that old Santa would feel obligado
To bring all children, both buenos and malos,
A nice batch of dulces and other regalos.

Outside in the yard there arose such a grito
That I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito.
I ran to the window and looked out afuera,
And who in the world do you think that it era?

Saint Nick in a sleigh and a big red sombrero
Came dashing along like a crazy bombero.
And pulling his sleigh instead of venados
Were eight little burros approaching volados.

I watched as they came and this quaint little hombre
Was shouting and whistling and calling by nombre:
"Ay Pancho, ay Pepe, ay Cuco, ay Beto,
Ay Chato, ay Chopo, Macuco, y Nieto!"

Then standing erect with his hands on his pecho
He flew to the top of our very own techo.
With his round little belly like a bowl of jalea,
He struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea,

Then huffing and puffing at last in our sala,
With soot smeared all over his red suit de gala,
He filled all the stockings with lovely regalos --
For none of the ninos had been very malos.

Then chuckling aloud, seeming very contento,
He turned like a flash and was gone like the viento.
And I heard him exclaim, and this is verdad,
Merry Christmas to all, and Feliz Navidad!

Christmas Card List

2008-12-16T15:11:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm doing this really, really late, but I need addresses for Christmas cards. I'm posting the request on here because I don't have everyone's e-mail address (and if you do get an email after this post-my apologies). So, if you could send your info to us at ward_family_2005@hotmail.com , that would be great. Thanks y'all.

I feel fine. . .

2008-12-16T12:23:00.001-08:00

"You know what fine means, right? Freaked-out. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional."

Yep. That's how I feel today. I feel FINE.

I'm pretty much awesome. . .

2008-12-11T11:12:00.000-08:00

(and bored)

70 words

Typingtest

Wow!

2008-12-01T12:33:00.001-08:00

I knew we were going to come out on top, but to score 30+ points in one quarter-that is just pure awesomeness!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, it's the BSU vs. Freno State game, and the smack talk between Jacob (my older bro) and I started as soon as we got to my parents house. He really thought Fresno State would win. I told him there was no way in heck our boys would loose at home, the last game of the season, AND the day we're supposed to get our WAC title trophy. Jacob asked what Fresno State had to loose if they lost (again) and I quickly replied: "More pride." He didn't like my answer so much.

With an interception by Fresno State within the first seven minutes, I was a little nervous and a score of 10-17 at the half made me even MORE nervous. But my men in blue (and orange) did not disappoint. We came back on top-in a big way. The final score was 61-10. And I enjoyed every minute of that defeat, especially since Jacob is a Fresno State fan. I took a little pride in asking him if he missed the interception by Kyle Wilson and then saying "Don't worry. They'll show a replay of that. Slow motion even so you can catch every bit of it." And since we were in Fresno State territory, we got to hear the players' reactions; I think one player summed it up best by saying their defeat was "Like a scary movie. You couldn't stop it." Haha, so funny and yet so sad.

And now we're off to San Diego: Go Orange! Go Big Blue! Fight! Fight! BSU!!!

Turkey, Family and Friends: oh my!

2008-12-01T12:32:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving in Cali was great. We left Idaho at 6:30 am (though the original plan was to leave at 5:30) and there was no one on the road. Usually our stops in Winnemucca and Boomtown (just outside of Reno) are packed with cars getting gas, but this year was not the case. I’m sure it had to do with people wanting to cut back and save. AAA said that they expected travel to be down 40-60% this year and that’s okay by me because it made for a quicker travel time.

Since we were going to be passing through Lincoln on the way down to my parents house, we got to stop there and pick up Jacob’s daughter Mia so we could spend some family time with her. She is so adorable and such a little chatter box. It’s been about a year since the last time Nic and I had seen her, so when I asked her if she wanted to go with us to see Grandma Mary she said “no.” Her mom, Laurel, felt somewhat bad but after 15 minuets of coaxing Mia and promising her she could watch Sleeping Beauty in our car and have a snack she was ready to go.

I just can’t get over how much she looks like Jacob when he was younger. I always tell my mom: “It’s Jacob, but with long hair.” My mom was sure to always call us Uncle Nic and Aunt Elaine so Mia would know who we are, but she would forget-it’s to be expected (she's only three). It was cute though because she would call me her friend. She told my mom “Grandma, you know my friend?” And then one time I was in my parents room and I guess Nic told her “go get Aunt Elaine” because next thing I hear is “Auntie Lane your friend needs you. Come on, I take you to see your friend.” She then grabbed me by the hand and took me to the kitchen. Too cute! I love that little girl.

We also took family photos again by the best photographer (um, that would be me), but we were missing two grand-daughters/nieces. Unfortunately we had to take Mia back to her mom before we could take them (the day we had her and we were supposed to take them it rained) and my older niece Vanessa wasn't able to come down (due to work). Hopefully over the summer or when we go down for Christmas (next year) we will be able to have EVERYONE there.

Thanksgiving dinner was quiet, but nice. After dinner we headed to see Madagascar 2 at 9 pm. It was a funny movie and it made for some fun memories as well. I won't give too many details (I don't want to embarrass any of my family) but they laughs surrond a "free popcorn" and a large bottle of h2o-I love my family. Spending time with them makes me realize how much I truly miss them and wish I live closer.

My mom was happy to have Nic and me down because she said everyone come over when we're there (because we are the most awesomest people ever you know). Jacob stayed the night a few nights, saw my sister Lisa and my niece Brandie (I can't believe she is going to be 14!), no Cranium or rounds of Monopoly this year but there's always next year for Christmas.

I also ran into a few friends of mine from high school, so that was nice. We bumped into my good friend Brianne at Circuit City. It was kind'a funny because we both did a double take like "is that really her?" Her dad thought Nic and I were crazy for wearing shorts but when we told him we lived in Idaho, he understood (it was between 55-60 degrees). And we also got to be there for the blessing of my good friend Kara's baby boy. He is so adorable.

This year was also the first year that Nic and I hit Black Friday Sales. I was a little nervous because I've heard that people can be pretty crazy, but it wasn't that bad-but I also think that had to deal with the fact that Nic and I didn't go out until like 10 am. We didn't camp out like some people-sorry, we're not that hardcore, PLUS it didn't seem like there were too many deals out there.

Going down to Cali was a nice (much needed) break. And I'm so grateful for my family and the love and support they give me and Nic. Now, if I could only get them to move up here.

p.s. Check back later for pictures

In-N-Out

2008-12-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

California, Nevada and even Utah are blessed states in my book. Why you may ask, because all of these states are blessed with having In-N-Out Burgers. These are seriously, the best burgers around in my book. And anytime Nic and I are heading to Cali we look forward to enjoying the wonderful goodness. If you haven’t had their burgers before, you can’t understand how I could go on and on but they are for reals so good. They’re simple but tasty.

In high school, I applied for a job there. I wasn’t hired but I learned some interesting things about their company. (At that time) They were only located in California and every corporate meeting started with the pledge of allegiance followed by a word of prayer. How cool is that? Also, under the rim of their cups, the French fry box, and to-go bags all have a scripture on them. They also have a “secret menu,” which includes items that aren’t on their small menu, but you have to know how to order them. My friend in high school worked there and he told me what they were but I can’t remember them now; however, if you go here it shows you those secret items.

So next time you’re in California, Nevada or Utah check ‘em out-you won’t be disappointed.

33.25?!

2008-12-01T12:27:00.000-08:00

So, going down to Cali, Nic and I were a little nervous about gas prices. With where they were in September (when we started planning our trip) we were filling up our car for $65 dollars-if not a little more, and we had anticipated spending at least $300 on gas (painful, I know). However, imagine my surprise, joy, shock-whatever you want to call it- when we filled our tank for $33.25. . .$33.25 are you kidding me?! That was freakin’ awesome! Road trip anyone?

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T10:14:00.001-08:00

Well, we are in sunny/rainy California! 65 degree weather is oh so nice. While I'm here I'll be catching up on posts and working on my photography stuff-go figure, I went on vacation to work. Talk to you guys later and have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

Five is the magic number!

2008-10-23T11:52:00.000-07:00

I was tagged by Hillary. Since I'm on my lunch, here it goes:

A list of fives

10 years ago I...
1. was 17, just returning from Belgium (there for a soccer tournament) entering my senior year of high school
2. planed for what I would do after I graduated high school (get the heck out of Merced and get learned in college)
3. learned the true meaning of friendship
4. accepted the fact that I was different
5. lost one of my good friends (not by death, just a falling out)

Things I'm really into right now. . .
1. How I can come up with enough money to start my family (IVF and adoption can be pretty spendy!)
2. crafts! I'll have to post some things as I go
3. Preparing for a 5k run-come April I'll be ready!
4. painting my house
5. Growing my photography business

Things I would do if I were a millionaire. . .
1. Build our dream home-our home is nice, but I would totally prefer more yard-both front and back
2. Pay off all of our debt-student loans stink!
3. Start a college fund for nieces and nephews
4. Start a non-profit organization of some sort
5. Finish school

Five places I have lived...
1. Merced, Ca
2. Orem, UT (for like a week)
3. Rexburg, ID
4. Boise, ID
5. Meridian, ID (for about two months)

Five places I have worked...
1. McDonalds in WalMart
2. The Galley @ BYU-Idaho
3. Domino's
4. Hollywood Video
5. Carty Law

5 people I tag: (in no particular order)
1. Nicole
2. Rebecca
3. Tori
4. Hannah
5. Leia

I'm a slacker!!!

2008-10-20T23:02:00.000-07:00

Well, it seems that Nic and I fell off the face of the earth. Sorry, I was busy getting my web-site set up so blogging was put on the back burner for a while. But I think I'm (mostly) caught up now. So, pop some popcorn. Sit back and enjoy getting caught up with the Ward Clan.

Adios!

When the husband's away. . .

2008-10-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

the wife will play! :)

Well, Nic and his dad left this afternoon to go camping. He was pretty excited. I was a little sad. I don't like it when he's gone, the house is just too darn quiet. PLUS, this was the first time that he would be away that we wouldn't be able to say good-night to each other (no service in them mountains where the elk play). But because my husband is the best in town he got me two tickets to the BSU vs. Hawaii game-does he love me or what?!

Who else to take but my best gal-pal Melanie.

(picture from last year)

My boss let me leave early, so Mel met me at my office and we walked over to the stadium. We got there maybe 25 minutes after the gates opened, so we didn't think we would get too terrible of seats (i.e. wwaayyy at the top) but we were just a little off. The seats were good, but the hike to them was just a little much for my comfort. The hike was so bad that as soon as I sat down, though I was dying of hunger, I didn't want to hike back down them and get some food (I know-pure laziness!)-so sad.

The game was really good, though I was little worried that going into the half the score was only 10-7 (us). Anyone that knows BSU football knows this isn't Bronco fashion. You also know that this season we haven't been able to deliver in the second half and going into this game, if we lost it could take us out of the running for a BCS bowl AND make Hawaii a contender for the WAC title (again). But my boys' prevailed and make an awesome come back. Final score: 27-7 with a few interceptions in there for good measure :)

Now we're ranked 12th. Can anyone say BCS Bowl????? Thanks for the tickets babe. I love you!!!

I am so crafty!

2008-10-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

Well, not really. But for this project I was pretty proud of myself. This is a tutu. No I did not sew it (are you kidding me-I haven't sewed since the 7th grade), it's a no sew tutu and it is super easy to make. If you google "no sew tutu" you'll get a ton of hits, essentially they are all the same. Here are some pictures of the knots that I tied. I tried to take pictures as I was going, but it's really hard to do when you only have one hand and a big camera.

I made these for Melanie's girls for a photoshoot, in my "studio" shoot (i.e. meaning a spare room in my house that is equipped with backdrops that my AWESOME hubby built for me). We had some difficulties-which means after an hour and a half of shooting, Allie started getting distracted and McKenna was fussy. I did manage to get one shot of Allie in hers though. Too cute!

Just thought I'd brag. Adios!

All things Orange and Blue

2008-09-29T22:49:00.000-07:00

September 20th was an AWESOME day! Not only was it Nic's birthday (the old man is nearing 30!), but it was also the day of the BSU game against Oregon. Oh my freakin' a! That was seriously the best game ever. Nic and I went to the coast Mel and TJ. We weren't able to leave as early as we wanted because Nic's flight got in super late (not until 11:45 pm-it was supposed to come in at 5 pm) and we still needed to change the oil in the car. Though we got on the road late, it was still quite enjoyable.

It was nice to get away and enjoy the Oregon coast. I am totally a water baby. I could spend ALL day at the beach, wonderfully content. I love the smell of the ocean air and the cool breeze. Ah, so refreshing, and flying a kite! I love flying a kite but surprisingly the wind was hardly blowing. Because he loves me show much, he tried giving it a go for me.

Friday night we celebrated Nic's birthday. Aunt Loretta made a super yummy dinner complete with a homemade German Chocolate cake (including the frosting-both Melanie and I said "they sale it in a can") and enough candles to set off the smoke alarm. Okay, not really but seriously, Nic's getting old.

After two fantastic days at the beach, it was GAME DAY!!

People warned us about the fans at Oregon, but they were actually really nice. When we entered their indoor field, this sweet old lady saw me in my Bronco gear, grabbed hold of my arm and said: "It's so good to see you. I'm so glad you could make it here. We're happy to have you." Too cute! We had a couple of Oregon fans around us, but it wasn't bad at all (we should have taken a picture with them-darn!).

It was a good game, but near the end it was a little nerve racking. For a moment there it looked like the boys weren't going to be able to do it, but the defense was able to hold them at bay.

Before the game the game Nic and his Uncle Gary made a little wager. If BSU lost, then we would need to send him some Idaho potatoes, but if they one then he would owe us lawn fertilizer. I'm very happy to say, that we returned home with a nice bag fertilizer. Yeah for grass and yeah for BSU winning!!!

Oregon was nice. I was so sad to go, but I guess we'll have to go back sooner. Thanks to Uncle Gary and Aunt Loretta for hosting us in their beautiful home. We hope to see you soon!

Happy Birthday Pappy!

2008-09-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

This is my Dad (aka Pappy, aka Padre, aka Daddy, aka Father, aka 1/2 of the parental unit)

and he is the bestest! I can remember him taking me to the elementary school and have me run dribbling drills with the hopscotch. He taught me how to shoot a lay-up. My dad taught me how to NOT throw like a girl and how to swing a bat. He taught me how to drop kick a soccer ball and how to run a 100 yard sprint without flapping my arms around like a chicken (yes there is a correct way to run when you sprint).

My dad taught me that good things come to those who wait: like him joining the church and finding my Mr. Right (while dating all of the Mr. What was I thinking's). He taught me how I should be loved and treated. His endless love for my mom was such an example to me growing up.

He taught me how to worker by him working seven days a week, but always somehow being able to make it to my games (for whatever sport I was playing at that season).

Where were you?

2008-09-11T12:03:00.000-07:00

Seven years ago. . .

It was a Tuesday. I was lying in my bed listening to the radio station, debating whether or not I wanted to go to class that day. All of a sudden the song cuts out and the morning show DJ says: "We just got a call from a listener that said an air plane has just crashed into the Word Trade Center. Please stay with us as we try to verify the details." I immediately shot up in bed and started thinking 'Oh my gosh! If there's any truth to it, it will be on CNN.'

I ran upstairs to our living room and turned on the TV. And there was the live footage. I couldn't believe my eyes. Smoke was coming from the North Tower. As I was struggling to make sense of what was going on, I saw the second airplane crash into the South Tower. I couldn't believe what I was seeing; I could feel the tears start to swell up.

My roommates are amazed at me being up and seeing me glued to the TV. I hear them asking me questions, but I ignore them hoping that they will just glance at the TV to see what's happening. I'm frozen, still trying to make sense of what I'm seeing. The next thing I see are the towers crashing and people running in fear. I'm no longer able to hold back the tears. Why is this happening? Who would do this? Why? Why?? Why???

After watching live footage for what seemed like forever, I finally peel myself away from the TV and head to campus. The feeling on the BYU-Idaho campus that day was one that I will never forget. It was so somber. As you walked on campus, it was so eerily quiet. No smiles. No laughter. You could feel there was a sense of loss that day. You knew that no matter our circumstances, we were all changed that day.

The President gave an address that night and I listened. He said that those these horrible acts may have shattered the steels of the those buildings, but "they cannot dent the steel of American resolve." We as a nation united that day. Policemen and Firefighters became super heroes. Young men made the decision to put their life on hold and rise to the special calling of defending the freedom of our nation. My freedom. Your freedom.

That week on campus it was homecoming. One of the last homecomings for the school but instead of celebrating with the big razzle dazzle it was filled with moments of silence and the singing of the song "(I'm proud to be an American) God Bless the USA." As we sang that song, it brought on a sense of pride, one that I had never felt before. The chorus of that song, took on a special meaning that week:

"And I'm proud to be an American,

where at least I know I'm free.

And I won't forget the men who died,

and gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up! next to you

and defend her still today.

'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land,

God bless the USA!"

I was changed that day. From that day forward, I cry every time our flag is raised and our National Anthem sung. I'm not going to stand here and say whether the war is a good thing or a bad thing, but all I know is that these men are defending my freedom. On this day, I would ask that we don't criticize our President's decision to send our men off to war, but that we stand beside them as they put their lives in danger to defend our very freedom and help rebuild a nation.

Labor (day) of Love!

2008-09-05T12:33:00.001-07:00

Some may think that Labor Day is a time for rest, but not in the Ward Home. We spent our Labor Day weekend painting, and well it's about time.

A few months ago, I was checking out Craigslist (for reals, I heart it) and we came across a painting company that was giving away FREE paint. Nic and I were all over that. I was a little worried that we wouldn't find the colors that we wanted (for our baseboards, bathrooms, living room and family room) but we did. So, Saturday we started painting our mud room. Originally, it was going to stay our mud room and the cats' room but we decided to change it to our office. I've come to the realization that while I love having the downstairs completely for entertaining it has made me incredibly lazy! I hate hiking up the stairs to get to the office and then come ALL THE WAY down, so we moved it into the mud room and it totally works. So, here are some pics:

Monday afternoon instead of moving on to the next room we decided to hit the greenbelt for a bike ride. While riding, Nic informed me that he had NEVER been to the Boise Zoo, so we went and it was so much fun. It was nice just to walk around and get excited to see all the animals like some young little kid. The only downer was we kind'a had to decide which exhibits we wanted to see more than others because we only had like an hour until closing time, but none the less we had a jolly ol' time.

(Us taking a break at the zoo)

So, summer is gone. Bummer, I know. All is well. On to the fall season (AKA as football season) and just a few days before we take off to Oregon-heck yes baby!!!

It's the most wonderful time of the year

2008-08-30T18:20:00.000-07:00

I'm sure most people associate that phrase with Christmas, but for me it can only mean one thing: Football season!!! And the boys (in blue) are back in town!

The team is a lot younger this year (prime example: there's only one returning player for the offensive line and all newbies on the defensive line-YIKES!!) and watching the game from the comfort of my own home I was a little nervous; I can't imagine what the tension felt like at the stadium. It took the boys a little time to find their groove and for the devoted fans of Boise State to have faith in their new (young and true freshman) QB Kellen Moore (he may be young, but the kid can throw) but eventually everything all worked out. Moore played a pretty good game and I think he won the confidence of the fans-which in BSU football is wwaaayy important (especially when they feel another player deserved the role of QB).

In true Bronco fashion, the final score was 49-7 (though we have totally slaughtered teams far worse then that). The most humorous part of the game was when ISU tried this play (you know, when we won the Fiesta Bowl) but they were denied by our d-line and met with boos that rang throughout the stadium. Did they really think the could pull it off, c'mon guys! You're playing with the big boys'! So, here's to a new football season that will be enjoyed from the comfort of our own home-thankfully, most of the games will be broad casted locally and a couple on ESPN-I may only miss one game. I'm still determined to make it to one home game-thank goodness for craigslist.

P.S. If you go HERE you can catch the video that they show on BroncoVision before kick-off. I don't know about you, but it sends chills down my spine! Heck yes baby!!!

Chicago a no go!!

2008-08-21T11:55:00.000-07:00

Nic constantly reminds me that we always go to concerts that I want to go to (Black Eyed Peas-twice, Harry Connick Jr-totally dreamy, and Josh Groban)-even though I did endure Spamalot when it came to the Morrison Center. So, being the wonderful wife that I am I decided to check out the entertainment for this year's Western Idaho Fair and I hit the jack pot!!

Chicago was coming to the fair on August 20th, and while I was surprised that a band as popular as they are was coming to the fair I was still excited. Now Nic couldn't throw guilt trips at me; we were finally going to a concert that he would want to go see. Not to say that I hate Chicago, but I always joke with him by saying: "which city is this?" referring to a song by Boston or Chicago (which actually turns out to be a song by Journey).

So, yesterday Nic and I are excited for our date-night at the fair and to enjoy the wonderful smells (and tastes) of fair food (my personal favorites: corn dogs, cotton candy and elephant ears-YUMMY!!!) Traffic was jammed trying to get to the fair grounds. We finally make it in and find a parking space and begin the walk to the entrance to buy our tickets. As we're walking to the fair entrance by glancing around you could tell that a lot of couples were making this their date night (some a lot older than Nic and I). I can see those wonderful neon lights that say "tickets" as we are approaching and then to my right and left I notice there are two very LLLOOOOONNNGG lines waiting to buy tickets. I thought by the time we got in the show would have started already. We were directed to the proper line (as we did not have any children nor considered persons of the golden age) and began our wait.

While in line we found out that there was a power outage at the ticket windows and they were only accepting cash (good thing we stopped to get some) and only two of the four or five entrances were open. After waiting in line for like 10 minutes, the line started moving really fast. That got me way excited and I thought we would make it in. As we get closer to the ticket window, we were directed to another line (that was twice as long) because the one we were waiting in had run out of tickets. Still hopeful we starting walking towards the other line. The line just kept going and going and going, we looked at each other and said "Let's go home."

So, instead of a night filled with music, food, rides and fun. We had a nice quiet evening at home. Looks like I still owe Nic a concert of his choice. . .maybe I can turn him into a NKOTB fan before November 15th. I guess we will see.

Behold the greatness!!!

2008-08-16T14:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes my friends are tickets are in!!! Autzen Stadium here we come!!!! September 20th is not coming soon enough.

We bought the tickets thru Stub Hub back in like February but after we made our purchase it told us that we could get the tickets as early as July 15th or as late as September 17th (THREE days before the game) AND if for someone the person does not purchase them then we would be refunded. Um, hello! Why would a person post them for sale if they don't have them or plan on getting them?????? When I saw that I went into a panic. . ."What if they don't get here in time? TJ is going to kill us." "What if the person we bought them decides NOT to buy them?" "What if he mails them too late???"

As soon as July came around, I was asking Nic (what seemed like every day) if he got the tickets yet (we had them delivered to his work because we didn't know where we would be). I've been so caught up in other things that when he told me that he got the tickets, I had to ask him 'what tickets?' But as soon as the words escaped out of mouth, I remembered. Gave a shout for joy and did my happy dance!!!

Will head out September 17th after we all get off work and enjoy two full days of the coast-I can smell the ocean air already!!!

I just want to give a special thanks to my wonderful husband for putting up with three CRAZY Boise State Fans and letting us go to the game to celebrate HIS birthday. You Rock Nicolas Ryan!!!

The type of parents we want to be

2008-07-24T11:37:00.000-07:00

I'm an avid reality TV junkie! I love it. I love watching other people's drama unfold before my eyes and being able to say "I can't believe they did that." Nic hates it, he'll get up on leave the room if he see that one of my "stupid shows" is about to come on. My new obsession: The Baby Borrowers. The premises is five teen-age couples who think they're ready to have kids get to experience parenthood at rapid speed. They get to look after infants, toddlers, pre-teens, teen-agers and the elderly. It's been interesting to see these teens be parents. Some have rose to the occasion and been very responsible and you can tell their relationship (as boyfriend/girlfriend) is strong. Others have failed miserably. Last night's episode was one that really caught my attention.

Last night, the teens were parents to teen-agers (some who were just a few years younger than their "parents"). Some of the teen-agers came to raise heck but were quickly put in their place by their new mom and dad. One couple however, was letting their personal relationship get in the way of raising their kid. Daton and Morgan had a rocky past coming into this, but with their teen-ager residing in their home, everything came out and Daton ended up leaving the show. While they were arguing and yelling at eachother their teen-ager thought it best to go outside and escape the yelling. The cameras then focus on him as he is expressing his feelings about their arguing. This is what he said "They're just in there yelling at each other. That's what my parents did before they got divorced. I mean, they got divorced when I was six years-old but I can still remember them yelling at each other. I just didn't want to be around that" That last part broke my heart.

This teen-ager is now 15 years old, and he still remembers the yelling his parents did NINE YEARS AGO, and obviously he is still sensitive to it. How emotionally and traumatic that must have been for him at such a young age. Not knowing why his parents are fighting and wondering if he's the cause of their arguments.

After the show I shared with Nic the recollection of this teen-ager and I started crying (I know, I know, I'm a big baby). I told him that I never want to have yelling or arguing in our house. Things like that take such an emotional toll on children, to me that 15 year old is proof. Yelling I think also instills fear and I don't want our household to be one of fear. I'm not saying we will never discipline our children, but I never want to talk to them in an angry tone. Anytime I sense someone becoming upset and they start yelling, it sends a chill up my spine. I hate it. I also never want to discipline our children by spanking (with hand or a belt), I again feel that this creates a sense of fear. Some may argue that there will be some occasions where spanking is necessary, but I refuse to do that. Spanking to me is motivated by anger and I feel that if you are disciplining your children it shouldn't come from an angry place.

Yes, I know that Nic and I don't have kids right now so it's easier to say this and "just wait until you have kids" but we both feel that there is a better way to discipline children and this is the road that we are taking.

If you need a good laugh. . .

2008-07-23T08:31:00.000-07:00

then go here. It's a blog that's written by my friends from home Cami and Tim. Tim is going through medical school right now and occasionally he writes about his experiences. There's the one about his VA rotation, or working at the prison, and the one about beginning his OB-GYN rotation. I find his stories absolutely hilarious; maybe it's because I know him and I can picture him doing all these things and his facial expressions-who knows. Either way, I think they are worth checking out.

Adios my peeps!

Catching Up

2008-07-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I haven't posted in a while and I'm sure if you visit our blog on a regular basis that we've seen posts that weren't there before for previous months. Well, I'm back blogging. So keep checking back there will be more updates and hopefully one day I'll be all caught up.

Adios!

Being a responsible adult is sooo over-rated!

2008-07-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

Well, as previously mentioned football takes me to a happy place. That said, on February 11th (at 10 am) BSU opened up their season ticket waiting list. All you had to do was long on to their web-site and provide you contact information. So, at 9:59 I logged on to their web-site and at the stroke of 10 am I provided all my information and that I wanted four tickets (me and Nic and Mel and TJ). True, I had high hopes that we would score some awesome tickets but as the months went on, I began to loose hope.

Well fast forward to July 6th. Nic and I come home from church and I have five messages. I figured my parents had left me a couple of messages so I checked; and while there was none from them, there was one message equally as important-a message from the BSU ticket office. They called me to inform me I was next on their list for season tickets and that I just need to call their ticket office. I start freaking out: Oh my gosh! When did they call? I need to call them back. Oh my gosh! Yes my friends, I was that excited. I listen to the message header again and they called July 2 at 2:30; for some reason my phone never gave me my message-I was so upset! I told Nic the exciting news and that I would call Monday during my lunch.

Monday afternoon I call and they tell me tickets are still available and their location. They seemed reasonably priced, so I call Nic and is he is all for us getting tickets we just need to wait a week. When I get off the phone him I start doing my little happy dance and I start singing the BSU fight song and I start imagining myself at the games and I can hear the band playing. . .I start getting wwaaayy excited like I do when I'm at the football games.

Well, fast-forward to Sunday (7/13). We met with our Bishop to discuss concerns (mostly money) about adoption. I told him that were saving where we can but I just don't think we'll have the money we need. He told me that people who are saving can always save a little more.

Monday comes and as I'm getting ready to make that glorious purchase, I just can't bring myself to do it. The words of our Bishop are ringing in my head and I start thinking: are these tickets a want or a need. One could argue that if you're trying to make sure you have a happy wife then the season tickets would definitely be a need, but I knew deep down inside no matter how I tried to spin it these season tickets were a want. And when we're trying to save for something greater that this is something we can't afford right now.

I called Nic and told him that I wouldn't be purchasing the tickets and I explained to him why. He told me that he thought it was a good decision but if I still wanted to buy them, he would let me. I told him that we simply couldn't and the words of the Bishop just kept playing in my head over and over. So, we didn't buy them.

I know it was a wise decision and in the end we will have the greatest reward (a child or two), but I know when I'm watching the games from my couch yelling at the TV that I'll think: Being responsible is completely over-rated!

They came. . .they saw. . .they conquered!

2008-07-07T12:33:00.000-07:00

After six years of living in the great state of Idaho, my parents FINALLY made a trip up to Boise that lasted more than one day. My years of begging them to pay a visit finally paid off. . .well, that and the fact that I had a new house to accomadate them didn't hurt either :)

They got here early Wednesday evening. I was so happy to see my momma and pappy! I would have jumped on them as soon as they got out of the car, but I figured after a 10 hour drive (Nic and I can make it in 8 1/2-9 hours) they wouldn't have the strength to hold me. They came in and I gave them the ground tour. They really like our new home and the space that there is. I did up the guest bathroom for them (still no paint, but it looked really cute) and the guest bedroom. They were starving so I made-some yummy stir-fry.

Momma and Pappy also came bareing gifts: FRUIT!! Nic always teases me about fruit because I always tell him how much cheaper it is in Cali or fresher or whatever else. So, the fact that my parents brought some for me made we way happy! It was fun just sitting 'round the kitchen table chatting and joking. After Nic got home and had a bite to eat we went for an evening stroll to the club house to show my parents where our HOA fees go. As we were walking through the neighborhood they were really impressed with how family friendly the neighborhood was and the sizes of the home. I told them that they could sell their home in Cali and pay cash for a home up here. . .it looked like the were pondering the idea, so we will see what happens.

Thursday morning I made them breakfast and we just hung around town. Nic was insistent about taking them Pita Pit and checked out the down town sites-which included the ever so wonderful Boise Co-Op. I love the Co-Op but Nic and I hardly ever go. While we were there my mom reminded me how important it is to be healthier and how good this and that oil are for you. I like to think I'm a believer of natural healing, but my mom has truly surpassed me. After the Co-Op we headed out to Nic's parents house to do some swimming. The original plan was to head out there so I could do some browsing/shopping at Graples Home Decor which is a store that is only open on Thursdays (when I'm working), but in the end I decided my parents wouldn't have very much fun with that so we headed to the pool. My parents loved being able to cool off in the pool. It's a funny thing about swimming, when you're younger it's all about jumping and diving and playing this or that game but as you get older it's about just relaxing and finding something to float on. So, I guess I should say that we did some floating and not a whole lot of swimming.

After cooling off in the pool we head back into town to get cleaned up and head over to Cottonwood Grille for dinner. Nic and I had only been there once before, and it was soooo yummy! The trout I had (last time) literally melted off of my fork. It was so good. Nic and I decided should my parents ever decide to visit us, we would take them there. We sat out on the porch, next to the green belt and enjoyed the nice summer breeze. Our waiter was a little slow for my taste (after 1 1/2 working in a resturant you really learn what makes a good server and what does not), but it gave us time to sit and enjoy each other's company. It was nice to just sit and chat with my parents and joke around with them. It makes me miss and appreciate them so much more. Distance does truly make the heart grow fonder. Knowing that the next day (4th of July) was going to be a super long day for us, we decided we should head home and get some rest. Well, we headed home but didn't get to bed until probably around 12 am! We go back to our house and just started talking again. For the first time, my parents learned about the struggle I had (in high school and in college) about my racial vs my cultural identity (which is a completely different post for another day); and I learned some secrets that my mom had been holding out on me about some of the struggles I had with girls in my ward growing up (yeah, my mom called parents!!!!). . . I joked with her that her calling has explains why one girl doesn't even talk to me anymore. Oh, high school memories. . .honestly, I would never go back to high school. Lesssons learned, time to move on.

Friday morning while mom slept in Nic, Dad and I headed over to our ward building for the ward 4th of July breakfast. It wasn't like the good ol' picinic and softball game that we have back in my ward but nonetheless it was still fun. It gave my dad a chance to meet some of the people in our ward. We only stayed for about an hour and then we came home to get lunch and snacks packed for our trip up to Cascade and McCall. My dad is a big fan of Nic's salsa so the brought all the necessary ingredients to make it. Ideally, we should have made it the night before so we would just have to pack everything and go but we were having so much fun talking that we didn't. So, an hour and half (or more) later we hit the road.

Prior to my parents coming up here, my mom had said that she wanted to go hiking (but nothing too strenuous) so I bought a book that provided a list of ALL the attractions in the state of Idaho. Mom choose a hike that was only a mile (round trip) and would lead us to some hot springs, the trail was Last Chance Hot Spring. The thing that was nice about the book as that it gave directions to the trail head (i.e. travel two miles past x and look for x). Well, after driving for a couple extra miles past where the trailhead was supposed to be, we saw a sign that pointed to Last Chance Hot Spring campsite and I told Nic to head that way so we could ask the camp host where we need to go. Well, two more miles down an unpaved road we made it to the camp-site. Nic told the camp host that we were looking for the trailhead but we were having a hard time finding it, he told Nic it was because it wasn't there. Nic of course asked him what happened and the host told him that the owner of the hot springs was getting sued for a lot of money so to spite everyone he took a stick of dynamite and blew up the trail! One he told my mom this brought some great laughs about crazy mountain men. My parents asked how he could possibly be sued for something regarding his land/hot springs and I told them it's fairly easy: Someone probably choose to come and enjoy the wonderful hot springs and in doing so either 1)tripped somewhere down the path or 2) burned themselves in the hot springs and wanted someone to blame. Grant it, when you go hiking you are voluntarily exposing yourself to the natural elements but people want someone to blame and feel they should be compensated for their foolishness/stupidity. Somehow they found an attorney willing to represent them and they discovered the owner of the land and there you go and thus a lawsuit was born (working in PI I have recieved such calls-I had one lady call that wanted to sue a pet store because her own cat attacked her-ridiculous!).

Not ones for being defeated we went to the book again determined to go on a hike. We couldn't find one that was close to where we were so we turned around and headed to Brundage Mountain and decided to hike Goose Creek. It wasn't in our book but since it was already 4:30 we decided that we should probably get started on a hike. Goose Creek was was a 2 1/2 mile hike that on the return trip was all uphill! I was a little nervous because of my knee-it's never been the same since my surgery but I decided I could tough it out. I figured if my mom could do it, so could I. Though when I did express my concerns about the return trip she told me I should have worn my knee brace and I should also keep it around for things like this, but I really hate that thing. One it takes forever and a day to put it on (there are like eight straps that you need to make sure are secrue) and two it gives me bad tan lines-vain, I know!

The hike down to the falls was beautiful. I didn't enjoy being bitten my mosquitoes (even though I did spray myself) but it was so nice to be in nature and enjoy the wonderful God created elements. Once we got to the falls, we realized it was just the upper falls and that we still needed to hike 1/4 mile to the lower falls. Mom and I decided that we weren't going to be up for it so we decided to head back to the car while Dad and Nic continued on to check it out. It was so nice hiking back just my mom and I. It again gave us time to talk and share feelings about Nic and I's decision to start our family, the gospel and the spiritual strength of the men in our lives and to enjoy the wonderful beauties of this earth together. Nic and dad didn't catch up with us until we were probably 1/2 way back to the car. Once they caught up, Nic explained to us that it was a good thing we didn't go because it was a steep rocky path to get to the falls and there's no way that we have been able to do it. Nic showed me the pictures he took and I agreed that we would not have enjoyed that part of the hike. Dad told me that as he saw Nic get closer and closer to the falls he began thinking about what he would do should Nic have fallen into the falls, I told my dad "Camera first then Nic." We laughed but mom didn't appreciate the joke, nor our sense of humor.

We finished the trail and headed to Cascade. Since we were in McCall Nic suggested staying there for the fireworks (because he heard they were better) but I told him I didn't want to, plus it seemed pretty hard to find a place to sit so contined to Cascade. Lakeside was a little disappointing this year-there wasn't as many vendors and their wasn't any entertainment. Only a DJ that didn't start playing music until about an hour and half before the firework show started. We killed our time playing Uno. Mom had never played before so we decided to teach her how. We explained the rules to her and what each card meant, but she still accused us of cheating (the only one that ever cheats is Nicolas) even when she beat me at a game. All is well, it was fun but I don't think we will be playing Uno when we head down to Cali for Thanksgiving. After the awesome fireworks show we had to deal with the traffic getting out of the parkit was as messy this year, but it didn't take nearly as long as it has in the past and since we were going to be driving windy roads during the late evening, Mom stayed up to make sure Nic would be okay (I'm usually the one up making sure he's okay) which meant I got to sleep on the way home-YEAH!! When we got back (well after midnight-if not 1 am) I informed everyone that I was going to be sleeping in tomorrow and not to wake me up-no matter what AND that I was leaving my phone downstairs because I didn't want any phone calls waking me up. Mom informed me that instead of going panning for gold or gem digging (which I was determined to find a place for them to do that) that we could just stick around town on Saturday.

Saturday morning I was awoken by Nic coming in to the bedroom and asking if I was okay. I rolled over and looked at him (half-way asleep now) and said "Yes, I'm sleeping. What do you want?" (It should be noted that if I say I'm sleeping in and I don't want to be woken up I really do mean that).

"I forgot my keys to the house so I couldn't get back in. I was ringing and ringing the doorbell and no one answered. I tried calling your cellphone and the house phone and there was no answer. I thought something had happened to you."

"How did you get in then?"

"I called your mom on her cellphone and your dad came and opened up the door."

"Sorry, I didn't have my phone nor did I hear the doorbell." Then I rolled over and went back to sleep.

When breakfast was done mom told me that she heard the doorbell but she figured I wasn't answering it because I had said I didn't want to get woken up for anything; then the person starting rining and ringing the doorbell and she thought "Man, they must really want someone to answer the door." Next thing she knows Nic calls and she tells him that someone is ringing our doorbell "Yeah, it's me." Good times!

Saturday afternoon we went to the Idaho Penitentiary. Mom heard it was like one the top 20 attractions in Idaho (or something like that) so they wanted to check it out. It's weird to think that this jail was used until the early 1970's it so run down. Dad thought it would be funny to get a couple of pictures of him behind bars and pretending to escape from jail. It was interesting to see the different wings of the penitentiary.

We went to the solidary confinement which they called Siberia and read the description of it. It was crazy. Prisioners would be in there for seven months to a year and they were not allowed to take showers and hardly saw the light of day. The only light they had was a small vent opening in the ceiling of their cell. The part that grossed me out was not being able to take showers. The day we were there it was in the low 90's with a breeze, but I was sweating a little bit. I couldn't imagine being stuck in the cell with no circulation; even worse I couldn't imagine the possible stench that would come from those six or eight cells with no air conditioning and your prisioners not having taken a shower for a coulpe of days-gross! Mom and dad enjoyed themselves, we were hoping to check out the Idaho Botanical Gardens as well but by the time we got done at the penitentiary, they were already closed-darn! Looks like mom and dad are just going to have to come back for another visit :)

It was soooo incredibly nice having my parents here. I really hope they change their minds and decide to retire here; that way they'll be closer to grand-babies when they come!! I hope my parents make it a yearly thing to come up here to Idaho. Love you momma and pappy!!!!