Sunday, July 31, 2011

Finally!




Just 10 short days after Gabriella entered this world and became part of our family we were able to finalize our adoption. A lot of people couldn't believe that we were able to finalize that quickly and the only thing I could tell them was that the Lord truly was in control of everything.

When we met with our Birth Mom and the attorney to go over initial paper work, our Birth Mom expressed her desire for us to finalize the adoption as soon as possible. The attorney told her that we probably wouldn't be able to get in and finalize for at least a month or after Gabriella was born, but we decided to call down to the court house to see what could be done. The attorney called down to the court house and the clerk confirmed that we indeed would not be able to finalize our adoption until approximately a month after Gabby's birth. When we heard this, I could see the color leave our Birth Mom's face. But then the clerk went on to explain that since we would be represented by an attorney that we could petition the court early to get a date scheduled before Gabby was even born. This was music to our ears! So we all decided that Nic and I (and our attorney, Nic's dad) would petition the court the first part of June.

As June approached Nic's dad told me that I may have put all my eggs in the basket by telling my family (and friends) when we were going to be having the blessing and sealing since so many things can go wrong in family court. The fact that he was doubtful made me nervous. So, we spoke with our Bishop (who is also an attorney) and put me in touch with his paralegal that handles family law. I told her that we were getting ready to petition the court to get a date to finalize our adoption. She asked how old the baby was and I told her that she hadn't been born yet.

"Well, you can't do that."
"What do you mean we can't do that?"
"You can't even schedule a hearing until the baby is born."
"Well, a couple of months ago we called down to the court and the clerk said that we could petition the court early for a date. Our Birth Mom wants us to finalize the adoption as soon as we can, so that's why we're trying to schedule a court date now"
(very rudely-she was actually rude during the whole conversation) "Well, I don't know who you spoke to, but they are wrong. I have never seen a case where you could schedule a court date before the baby is even born. And it's not up to your Birth Mom to decide when you should finalize. Once there is court termination of her rights, she has no say as to what you decide to do."

I told her thank you and promptly hung up. I was near tears because she was so rude and because maybe Nic's dad was right: I had put all my eggs in one basket. I called Nic (in tears) and he told me the one lesson that i have learned over and over: "We just need to trust the Lord."

We made the decision to continue forward in our attempts to schedule a hearing date BEFORE Gabriella was born. I met Nic's dad and we went to the court house and submitted our papers. I was holding my breath for the clerk to say something about Gabby's DOB (that it hadn't even happened yet), but nothing. Nic's dad asked if we could schedule it now and the clerk said "What day would you like?" What?! Was this really happening? "Um, July 21st." "Okay."

Wow! I couldn't believe it. Well, I could because I knew the Lord was in control. But for a second, I did doubt.

The only one hang up was an additional home study that the court wanted-at the end of August :/. I started to get nervous again, but with the combination of our attorney and our Birth Mom's attorney we were able to get the additional home study waived. Everything was a go.

When we showed up for court I was a nervous wreck. I just kept thinking that the judge could change his mind for any reason at any time. The judge came into the court room and began. He said that he had reviewed our paperwork and found us suitable to become Gabriella's legal guardians. I began to cry. Who knew court proceedings could be so emotional.

After all the legal stuff was done, we were able to take some pictures and enjoy our time as a family before my parents arrived to meet their beautiful new grand-daughter.

The Greatest Gift


This is a picture of Gabriella and her birth mom.

On Wednesday, July 13th we said good-bye to our birth mom. It was an extremely hard thing to do.

That morning as we drove to the hospital, I felt that we would be saying good-bye to her, so in the car we were sure to say a prayer for her. We prayed that she would not only feel the love we have for her, but also feel the love that our Heavenly Father has for her as well. We prayed that she would be strengthened by that love. And most importantly we prayed that she would know that Gabriella will also know who she is and that we all will always be eternally grateful to her.

Our birth mom came to the NICU and we gave her a few things. First, I told our sweet birth mom that Nic and I will never begin to understand everything she is feeling right now, or how she will feel in the future, but I let her know that we love her. That we sincerely love her and
that Gabriella is just not our daughter, but she is ours. That she belongs to all three of us. I told her that we were truly grateful for her allowing us to start this next chapter in our lives and that she will always be our angel.

Birth mom told us having an adoption plan for Gabriella was what was for the best. To me, that truly showed how much love she had for Gabriella. Adoption truly is about love.

Next, Nic and I presented her with some special items that we had for her. The first one is a bracelet. Gabriella has the same one and she wore it during her newborn photo-shoot.




The next item was a Willow Tree Figurine, it's called Keepsake: Kept forever in the heart. I first came across this figurine when I learned we were first matched. A friend had suggested looking at Willow Tree Figurines to give as a gift to our birth mom when we first met her. I couldn't find anything, but when I saw "Keepsake" I began to cry and I knew that his is something I would want to give her when it came time for placement.



Both my eyes and the eyes of our birth mom were filled with tears (I asked Nic if he cried at all and he said no-typical guy. haha).

I told our birth mom that no matter where we are in our lives and no matter where Gabriella is, and no matter where she is that we have a piece of each other with us.

After a few more tears we got up to really say good-bye. Hugs were given and more tears were shed. Nic said good-bye to our birth mom first and then it was my turn. I tried not to cry, but I just couldn't help it. Neither of us could. I just kept telling her thank you and how much we loved her. She said she loves us too. Which, was so wonderful to hear her say.

Her final words to me: "It's going to be amazing!"

7.11.11

Today at approximately 1:16 pm our sweet baby girl, Gabriella Neveyah, joined the world. It was such an amazing experience.

The morning was off to a slow start. The C-Section was was supposed to be at 10 am, but it was pushed back until 12 pm. Our poor birth mom was uncomfortable and ready for the baby to be out. It was nice however to spend that extra time waiting with her.




Once our birth mom got called back, we got to sit in the pre-op room with her. We got to listen to Gabriella's heart beat one more time before she joined the world. It was exciting to hear her heart just pumping away. I think she knew that she was getting ready to make her grand entrance :). Sitting there with our birth mom, I was filled with an even greater sense of love for her. Getting changed into the scrubs made my heart race. Was this really getting ready to
happen? I couldn't believe that in just a few minutes our lives would be changed FOREVER! I took Nic's camera into the OR, but I really didn't take a whole lot of pictures. I didn't want to cause a stir of any kind. I just really wanted it to be about our birth mom. The anesthesiologist encouraged me to take pictures and to take a peek over the curtain if I wanted. I did and then I decided that I do not want to ever have a c-section. Oh my goodness. I'm so grateful for our
birth mom enduring that procedure. Seeing them pull Gabriella out was incredible. This sweet
baby girl that we had waited for was finally here. Right after they pulled her out, I was whisked away to the nursery to be with her. Nic was already in there. As I was getting cleaned up, the tears started to come. I tried holding them back, but two of the nurses told me: "it's okay to cry. And you know what? We'll cry with you." I tried to breath my way through it, but as soon as I
rounded the corner and saw them cleaning her up, the tears just came. Like, big bawling,
blubbery tears. It was incredible.


I was wanting to hold her when they were done, but they discovered that she had spontaneous pneumathorax and she had to be immediately taken to the NICU. Gabriella was connected to four different monitors: 1) to monitor her heart rate, 2) to monitor her breathing rate, 3) to
monitor her oxygen levels, and 4) to monitor her body temperature. She also had what they called "the box." It was an enclosed helmet that just pumped oxygen into her lungs. The on-call pediatrician told us that the point of "the box" was to help the pneumathorax to heal itself. If it
didn't then they would use a needle to uncollapse the lung. If that didn't work then they would have to do a tubal. Obviously, Nic and I were hoping for the box to work. Gabriella also had to have multiple x-rays done to make sure the pneumathorax was healing. She did not like that. Especially because they had to stretch her our to get them. Since the womb she has always let you know what she didn't like and she definitely let the nursing staff know that she did NOT like that. . .haha.


The hardest part with her being in the box was that we couldn't hold her. It was killing us! We could just give her foot or hand a little squeeze. And poor baby girl couldn't eat anything either. She was stuck with an IV and sugar water to help her keep the pacifier in her mouth. That first night we decided to stay in the hospital. Even though our friend that we were staying with lived 2 mins away from the hospital, we thought it best to stay right there just in case something happened. That night, we also had our cousin and her fiance come up from Rexburg to help Nic
give Gabriella a blessing of health. Though I could barely hear what he was saying (due to the beeping of monitors), you could definitely feel the presence of the Lord. It's true what they say
about the NICU-there are definitely angels there. Not only was our new little family and our birth mom strengthened by the prayers of our friends, I truly felt the presence of my grand-parents, Nic's grandparents and our birth mom's father. They were all there to make sure this sweet baby girl pulled through.


After 26 grueling hours and one final x-ray (I think she may have had a total of 10-5 times with
2 views) she was given the clear-YAY!! Though the pneumathorax had healed she still had to be monitored to make sure she was getting the right level of oxygen and her breathing rate was able to keep stabilized on it's own. Every time her monitor would go off because her levels had dropped, I would quickly go and grab her hand and tell her: "It's okay baby girl. You can do it. Mommy knows that you can be strong. It's okay. You can do it."

After removing "the box" we were able to feed her and baby girl was STARVING! She downed two ounces like it was nobody's business. After eating she was given a bath. She hated it. Though, she really did enjoy her hair being washed (who doesn't like a scalp massage???). After she was all clean and fresh we were able to hold her, and love on her and give her way too many kisses :)



We were hoping to get discharged that night, but the doctor wanted to keep her at least another day because her white blood cell count was low and the antibiotics were fighting the infection that she had. So, another night it was. And more prayers were given.

Wednesday morning we awoke bright and early so we could head to the hospital to feed her and to see what the good doctor was going to tell us. I also felt, as we were driving to the hospital, that this would be the day that we would be saying good-bye (though not forever) to our birth mom. On the way there, we were sure to say a prayer her and for us and for the good-bye that was getting ready to happen.

A few hours after saying good-bye to our birth mom, we were told to bring in the car seat so we could load Gabriella in it and do a stress test. Our nurses were very excited for us to bring in the car seat, because they knew what that meant-that we could go home! Gabriella was strapped in and she passed-YAY!!! When we were talking to the good ol' doc about discharge he said he wanted to send us home, but he would feel better if were to stay here (Idaho Falls) until Friday. He said with the altitude changes, it could possibly trigger something with Gabriella's pneumathorax (even though she was healed). We said we would. And we received the seal of approval to be discharged.




We took her home to our friends house and it was amazing to be a family. Our friend and her family were out of town, so it was just us. It was so nice. That night I stayed up with Gabriella. She just wanted to be held for almost two hours. When we woke up the next day, I told Nic that it just felt right being up with her. Like she had been ours forever. :)

Thursday morning we drove home. Yes we told the doctor we would stay, but who wouldn't tell them what they wanted to hear so we could get out?! Nic and I figured this: she had recovered 100% and we had faith in the Lord that he would give her the continued strength to stay strong (or at least to make it home if something were to happen). And He did. We made it back home safe and sound to begin our new life as a family.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Night Before

Well, the time has finally arrived. Tomorrow is the BIG day. I can hardly believe it.


All day people have been asking me if I'm excited, but honestly I'm not quite sure how I feel. Initially when we were matched I was excited. Getting everything ready made me excited, but in the final home stretch I've begun to feel. . . I don't know. I think I really am feeling so many different things I'm just not quite sure how to feel, or how I should feel. I have been thinking a lot about our birth mom and trying to grasp what she could possibly be feeling, but I know that there is no way I could possibly understand or know exactly how she is feeling. I'll NEVER understand, but I do know one thing. I know that she is our angel. I know that she has answered many prayers offered by my husband and I.

I have always believed that we as beings on this earth are here to help each other through life and to answer prayers offered by our brothers and sisters. We are here on this earth to help each other become something greater. Our birth mom has done this for us. She has given/is giving Nic and I so much. I can only hope that we have given her something in return.

I still can't believe that in 12 hours Nic and I will be parents. When we leave Eastern Idaho there will be a real-life baby in our back seat. We will be leaving with our daughter. Our daughter. Our sweet baby girl. Our pride and joy. This sweet baby who already has her daddy wrapped around her little finger :) Tomorrow, we will be a family.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

"How did you guys even end up together?!"




When we met with our Birth Mom in June, this is something she asked. She posed this question after Nic had done something that was "typical Nic." I didn't take offense by it, in fact it made me laugh. Mostly because Nic and I are so completely different, and while I'm sure a lot of people do wonder how we ended up together no one has ever asked. So now, I will tell both you and our birth mom how we ended up together.

I moved to Boise in May of 2002. Shortly after I moved here I met Nic. I came home with his roommate (whom I liked) and was NOT impressed with Nic the first time I met him. I remember telling his roommate "He must be the jerk of the house, right?" A few days later I crossed Nic's path at a BBQ of a mutual friend. I was there with a girl friend and since we were still pretty new and didn't know anyone. I saw Nic and told her while I had met this guy a couple of days ago he was a jerk but at least we know someone. We made our way towards him and hung out with him for most of the night. At the end of the BBQ a group of us decided to head to a midnight movie (so the thing to do in our single days). At the movie Nic and I sat by each other and I had the very distinct feeling of wanting to be close to him.

About a week later, Nic asked me out on a date but before we could go out I was asked out by another guy and when I told him I couldn't because I already had plans, his friend informed me that I should be careful because Nic was a "player" and proceeded to tell me all the moves that Nic would try. Being one full of attitude at the ripe age of 21, I decided I would have vindication for all the girl that Nic had played. I decided to keep my date with Nic and go along with all the sweet moves that he had and play right back. . .haha.

Shortly after we began dating I remember telling my friend I just can't do it anymore. Nic was nothing like that other guy had told me and I had begun to really like him. After two months of dating I had felt that Nic and I could get married-that was something that I had not planned for. It totally caught me by surprise. Of course, I didn't share these feelings with him. Because nothing scares guys like commitment, right? Haha.

Nic and I continued dating and we drove down to California and he met my family. Everything was going great but then, it was decided we needed a break (a la Ross and Rachel on Friends). We took a lot of "breaks" during our courtship. We dated on and off so frequently that even my best friends didn't know if Nic and I were together. He was always around. Even when we weren't together, he was still my best friend. I talked to him about everything. But then finally in May of 2004, I had reached my breaking point. I was no longer wanting to play these games with Nic.

It was a Sunday and I had made the decision that I was over and done with Nic. Little did I know that same day, he had made the decision that he loved me and couldn't live without me. Talking about bad timing, right? I met a guy that same day and we instantly hit it off. He was totally not like the other guys I had previously dated (he was more of the 'bad boy' type). While he and I were dating, Nic did everything in his power to try to win my affection back. I remember telling Nic "I'm sorry that this isn't working out for you, but you need to respect the fact that I'm dating someone else." Nic backed off in his pursuit, but he told me and everyone else that would listen "I'm going to be there for Elaine when this guy breaks her heart. It's going to happen." He must have been psychic or something because it did happen.

Three weeks later, Nic and I were engaged. Little did I know that Nic had already purchased the ring before we even were officially back together. Boy did he know what he wanted, huh?!

We dated on and off for two years and we are complete opposites. While it wouldn't work for most people, it works for us. Nic is truly my best friend. I think having had that established friendship that we did made it easier for us to endure the hardships that we would have during marriage (the biggest one beint the strugle to start our family). I have always told him everything and it always felt so natural, while with other guys it just always felt so forced. Nic does everything he possibly can to let me know he loves me and cares about me. He does that small things and the big things. I have never questioned his love for me. He opens my doors and gives me simple, sweet kisses on my forehead (he even did this while we were dating). I found a journal that I had when I was 17 years old and in it I had written what I wanted in a husband and Nic has all these qualities (I didn't read this journal again until last year). He's like my dad in some ways. I didn't realize it though until AFTER we were married. I guess it's true what they say about daughters marrying someone like their fathers. And if our daughter marries someone like Nic, she'll be just fine :)



He may not like sports and he may not like chillin' around the house sometimes but to me he is perfectly perfect!

"Hi. My name's Elaine and I Blog Stalk"

One of my friends is encouraging the epidemic known as "Blog Stalking." I have been guilty of this quiet obsession for some time now. I have learned imperative skills to insure I never get caught, but no more. I openly admit that I suffer from the disease known as blog stalking (because admitting it is the first step, right?). I no longer wish to be in hiding.

In my friends valiant effort to promote blog stalking, I am introducing myself to the world wide web. So, here it goes, 30 Things about me:

1. My husband and I will be adding to our family on July 11th, via adoption (we are beyond excited!)
2. I am a naturally shy person.
3. In high school, I was told I wasn't Mexican enough.
4. I hate going places alone-especially when I don't know anyone else.
5. I've always wanted quintuplets.
6. I LOVE reading!
7. I do not like s'mores.
8. I've always wanted a '69 Mustang.
9. Ever since I broke my nose in 5th grade, I have wanted a nose job.
10. I hate it when people touch my nose.
11. I miss California.
12. I LOVE going to plays.
13. I will forever be an Nsync fan.
14. I can recognize a person just by the sound of their voice.
15. I want to have a child with green eyes.
16. I'm constantly changing my hair (be it color or cut).
17. I've never had braces, but I want them.
18. I have a weakness for shoes.
19. I never wore heels until AFTER I got married.
20. I love reality tv-Nic hates it.
21. I didn't get my license until I was 21.
22. Though I plan some things FAR in advance, I procrastinate as much as I can.
23. I order supreme pizza, but I'll pick things off.
24. I am a Mormon and very proud to be one!
25. My favorite color used to be teal.
26. I am a massage therapist.
27. I can spend hours on the coast just sitting on the beach listening to the waves.
28. I have PCOS and my hubby is sterile. This makes for a bad combination when wanting to have children.
29. If I see a stray dog or cat, I instantly want to take them in and care for them.
30. I am a blog stalker :)

There you go. And just for you stopping by, I'm linking you to this sweet little gem :)

Friday, July 1, 2011

10 Days



In 10 days the lives of me and my husband are going to be changed. Forever. In 10 days the thing I wanted most for the last five and a half years will finally come to be. In 10 days I will be a mom.


February seems like it was just yesterday. The day we received the call that we had been matched seems like a blur. I remember hanging up to call Nic and telling him: "Um, I think we were chosen to adopt a baby and become parents." The day we met our birth mom was filled with nervous energy. Will she like us? What if she meets us and decides that we aren't what we were on "paper" (Internet)? That day, Nic and I made a life long friend (though, I feel the word 'friend' does not adequately portray how much love, gratitude, and respect we have for our birth mom). Finding out it was a baby girl was magical. I remember when the tech told us it was a Baby Girl I gave Nic's hand a little squeeze and tears filled my eyes. Right then, we fell even more in love with this sweet Baby Girl that was set to join our lives. And now here we are, July 1st with just 10 days left.


I pray in gratitude for the blessing that the Lord is about to bestow upon us. For so long my prayers were filled with tears and pleadings and beggings. Prayers for a miracle to happen. For the pain of my empty arms and heart to be taken away. I prayed for Him to give me what I wanted. I struggled with, not only faith in Him but, faith in His timing. I struggled to know that this trial was really for my growth and good. I struggled to know that he had a plan in place for me and Nic that it was going to greater than we could have ever imagined. It's amazing for me to look back on the last two years of our lives and see how the Lord was working to get things in place. During those hard times, I dragged my feet and questioned everything: Why do I need to quit my job? Why do we have to move? Why is this all happening? Why? Why? Why? But all along he knew what he was doing, it was just me who had doubted his plan.


I feel like I'm in a dream. I keep pinching myself to make sure it's not. I go into Baby Girl's room and take a deep breath: this is where we will change her diapers. This is where I will rock her to sleep. This is where we will watch her sleep. This is where we will make many memories with our daughter. Our daughter. It feels so good to say that.

10 days.