Our Birth Mom

Our birth mom got married last week and we were so happy and excited for her.  Her husband is a great guy and truly cares about her.  Gabriella got asked to be a flower girl, and while her flower girl debut didn't go as one would have liked, we were just so glad that we could be there to support her birth mom.

Our birth mom does have a name and it's a beautiful name, but for privacy we have agreed to just simply call her "birth mom." Yes it's an open adoption, but we all felt that it would be in the best interest of all parties involved that her name remain special to us.  

As we celebrate Gabriella's first birthday, our minds and hearts turn to our birth mom.  She is an incredible woman-full of strength, courage and a great love for Gabriella.  We will never understand the thoughts and feelings she had while deciding an adoption plan for our sweet baby girl, but we know her decision was made out of love.  Love for a beautiful baby girl that would change the lives of so many people.  Without our birth mom, Nic and I would not be able to experience the joys of parenthood.  Without our birth mom, Nic and I would not have been able to start the new chapters in our lives.  Thank you for giving us the greatest gift we could have ever received-one year ago.  

We love our birth mom and we are so glad that she gets to be a part of Gabriella's life (and ours) through the years.  

We love, love, LOVE you birth mom.  

IVF Update

Well, the appointment has been set.  We were really hoping to get in to see Dr. Slater this month but due to scheduling problems on our end and Dr. Slater being super busy, we are scheduled to see her June 12th (!!).  I was a little disappointed when they told me the date, but then they told me that they had just opened up that week so we're really lucky that we called when we did (again, reaffirms that the Lord is in control of this whole thing).

I still can't believe that this is happening. When I'm playing with Gabriella, I ask her: "Gabby, is it a brother or a sister that's waiting to come be a part of our family?  Is it both?"  I always wait for an answer, but of course she doesn't give me one-just a smile :). A couple of weeks ago I went to a friends graduation party/baptism celebration (for her daughter) and was able to visit with a lot of friends from our old ward (who I miss terribly) and was sharing our recent excitement with a friend who hadn't heard the good news.  I told her our tentative plans as to when we would like to do everything.  She looked at Gabriella and asked when her birthday was.  I told her it was July and then she began to do the math.  "Wow! They are going to be pretty close in age. (She looks at Gabriella) Did you make a deal with someone up there? Did you tell them that you would come first and that they could come after?"  I laughed, but after thinking about what she said it gave me chills and made me a little teary-eyed.

Gabriella was (and still is) such a easy baby.  She was sleeping through the night (which is considered at least 5 hours-she slept 6-8) by the time she was six days old, she's never had any earaches or high fever, she's never been colicky, and a list of a whole bunch of other things.  I always tell people "I think the Lord knew I needed to be eased into Motherhood.  As much as I wanted to be a mom, He knew I was still really nervous. With Gabriella being such an easy baby, it was His way of saying 'Look, you can do this.' "  Maybe Gabriella did in fact come first in order to prepare me for what was to come.  And truth be told, I can really see Gabriella taking charge in Heaven and saying "Look guys, I'm going to go first and ease her into it and then you can come."  I don't know how things really work in Heaven, but thinking things may have worked just like this makes me smile and have warm feelings :)

In other "update" news, I found out something pretty exciting, that if it works out, is going to be AMAZINGLY AWESOME!!!  I was talking with my friend Taylor (he and his wife were the ones that clapped in excitement when we won the grand prize and his wife was the one that told me about the open house) and he was telling me that he and his wife, Erin, when they were going through IVF they qualified for 25% savings because they made under 'x' amount and it's something we should look into.  I asked him "even though we have the 50% off?  You think we would still qualify?"

"Why not?  You still have to come up with the other half (roughly $6,000). Just talk to them when you go in." I so appreciate Taylor and his optimistic attitude :)

When he told me about the possibility of an extra 25% savings I got a little excited.  If we had not made the decision for Nic to leave his previous place of employment and start his own business, we wouldn't have qualified for this extra (possible) savings because we made over 'x' amount of money.  Another instance where the Lord is directing our course?  I think so.  How things are falling into place, really feels like it did over two years ago when I quit my job to return to school and be a stay at home wife, and we moved to another city to put ourselves (financially) in a better position.  Except at that time we didn't know what the end result was going to be (being matched with our beautiful birth mom), we just knew and felt we needed to do certain things.  I've said this before (if you follow me on FB) and I'll say it again: it's amazing how life unfolds and blessing are bestowed upon you when you get out of the Lord's way and let him direct your path.

In order to help put money towards our (current) goal of $6,000 I having been sewing like a mad woman to sale some items: baby burp cloths (cotton), flannel burp cloths, Baby Leg Warmers, and bath towels for baby (way bigger than the small ones you get-they can grown into them). I'll also be making hair bows.  I'm hoping to have a blog up in the next week to list these items and have a place where you can make purchase or donations.

Everything is coming together.  Me and my little family are so blessed.  Thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement.  It really has meant a lot to our family :)

Ending Nation Infertility Awareness Week

The blog you guys have all been waiting for :) But before I can give you the story, there is some important background info you need.

BACK STORY: Near the end of last year, Nic and I were discussing our plans for the new year.  We wanted to get out of debt, I wanted to grow my massage therapy business, and a couple of other things.  But the most important thing we wanted for the new year was to grow our family.  We wanted to pinch our pennies and save for an In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) treatment.  We were very excited about the new year!  Then 2012 arrived in all of it's glory and we soon realized that we the things we wanted for the new year were no longer in our reach.  Nic got a HUGE pay cut at the beginning of the year and after much prayer (and FAITH) we felt it was best for him to quit his job (he had worked for this company for 8 1/2 years) and start his own lab.  I struggled with this decision.  I knew that if Nic quit his job it would make it more difficult for us to get out of debt and to put money away for IVF.  But this is where I made the decision to change the way I prayed.

I prayed telling Heavenly Father that I KNEW He would provide us with the way to grow our family.  That I KNEW He would allow us to have the desire of our hearts and bring a brother or sister (or both!) into this world for our sweet Gabriella.  I told Him that I KNEW He would take care of our family and would not abandon us in our hour of need.  A lot of this prayer was filled with tears, but in my heart I KNEW the words to be true.  I KNEW that through my faith that Heavenly Father would bless our family.

For awhile I had stopped using this language in my prayers and put aside the thoughts of growing our family; though my heart ached for more children I became content with the thought that Gabriella would be our only child.   It was hard.  I wanted her to have a brother or sister.  I wanted to hear them giggling and sharing secrets with each other.  I wanted to see them running and playing in the yard.  I wanted her to have all those wonderful memories that I have of doing things with my brothers.  I decided to pray for more children.

On Sunday, April 22nd (the beginning of NIAW) I, again, prayed to Heavenly Father telling Him that I KNEW He would bless our lives with children and that through our faith He would provide us with a way to bring more sweet spirits into our home.  Through my tears I felt peace.  Later on that afternoon one of my friends posted this as her FB status: ****It's National Infertility Awareness Week. If you are local, and going through this trial, head over to the Idaho Center for Reproductive Medicine (next to the Ronald McDonald House) Thursday at the 6 pm for their open house/seminar. Drawings for 50% off IVF, Free consults and more******* When I saw this posting, my heart about jumped out of my chest. I immediately told her thank you for posting this.  She told me that she felt she needed to post this for all of her friends out there. True, I had hoped we would win, but I more so took this information as a sign that we needed to continue with our desire to grow our family.  I told Nic about it (the grand prize giveaway) and without hesitation he said: "Awesome!  Let's make sure we're there."

Well, fast-forward to Wednesday.  I get a call from the spa that I work at asking me if I would be okay working a late shift (until 7:30), without even thinking I say yes.  I don't realize my mistake until Nic comes home later that evening.  I tell him that I won't be able to go and since I don't want Gabriella with a sitter for an extended period of time (there was a 2 hour block where our schedules over-lapped and Gabriella had to be with a sitter) he either has to take her with him or not go at all.  Out of frustration I tell him to just not go at all.

Thursday morning on my drive to work I call Nic and tell him to go to the meeting and to take Gabriella with him and I would call him when I'm done with my appointments.  I go to the spa and wait for my client. As I'm there I'm telling the girls that Nic and I are wanting to grow our family and we're taking the first step by going to ICRM for NIAW.  It was nice to discuss infertility with them.  I tell them about the "grand prize" and they tell me that they hope Nic wins (love those girls).  At 5:40 pm my clients were a no show.  I call Nic to see where is he at (down the street from ICRM) and have him come pick me up.  We show up late to the meeting but are greeted by the friendly staff.  They tell us before we enter the room we need to enter the drawing and only one entry per family.  I was nervous as I was filling out the entry form, though I'm not sure why.  I mean, I really didn't think I would win. I guess I was just nervous about the the IF.  We sat through the presentation and relearned some things.  I also became frustrated because with my previous OB-GYN because it took her THREE years to refer us to ICRM, she should have done it after a year if not sooner (Infertility is defined as 1 year trying to conceive without any success, but since we already knew Nic's "factory" wasn't working properly we should have gotten a referral sooner.  All is well).  At the end of the informational meeting it was time for the drawing.  They were raffling a new client consultation, 2 ultrasounds (two separate ultrasounds), 2 cookie boutiques and the grand prize-50% off and IVF treatment.

"Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.  Swimming, swimming, swimming!"

Every time Dr. Slater pulled her hand out of the jar I sat waiting to hear my name.  I kept telling myself  "I'd be okay with a new client consultation or with the ultra sounds" the cookie boutiques not so much. . .haha.  And then the moment.  The grand prize.  Nic and I, along with everyone else in the room, held our breath. "And the grand prize goes to. . . Elaine Ward." I sat there.  Perfectly still.  In shock.  I couldn't believe it.  I could tell they were looking for their "excited" winner so I slowly raised my hand, much like a kid in school fessing up to something they did wrong.  They congratulated me and I just sat there.  There was some more info shared and as I sat there processing everything that just happened, I began to cry.  Heavenly Father had heard my prayers.

After the meeting the office manager came up to me and asked if we were returning patients (since we had Gabriella with us) and we told her that we had met with Dr. Foulk four years ago, but we were blessed by adoption with our beautiful girl. I told her how our friends (who, when my name was called exclaimed "yes!" and clapped their hands-though, I didn't hear them) who felt they needed to share the info and here we are. The office manager told us it was meant to be.  When I shared the news with the girls at the spa the next day they said the same thing too.

We are hoping to meet with Dr. Slater in a couple of weeks and that meeting will give us a better outline as to how much more money we need and when we can do the procedure.  I've made a guesstimate as to the amount that we will need ($6,000-yikes!).  Our tentative plan is to do the procedure in October.  

We know we still have a few thousand dollars to go before we are able to begin the procedure, but we know that the Lord will continue to guide us.  We will be holding garage sales, making and selling items, Nic is looking for another job (in addition to running his own lab), I will be taking on more clients, and we will be taking donations. . .haha. I'm serious though.  Send us your money ;)